How To Deal With People Who Bring Us Down -

When you complain and criticize…It makes me feel like giving up…

Oh, oh no! Don’t bring me down, no no no no…

So sang Eric Burdon and The Animals in a 1965 song by Carol King.

In life, we get to meet a number of people, but because it takes all kinds to make the world, there are just some that are too difficult to deal with. These are people we don’t like, and we try to avoid them at all costs. Staying out of the range of their radar may be the right solution, but there are also times where passing into that detection zone is unavoidable.

Friendly individuals emotionally lift up people and if there is conflict, it generally can easily be worked through. When dealing with the difficult ones, however, it is important to be able to distinguish between rights and responsibilities. Sometimes we feel obliged to adapt to them but we shouldn’t forgo our rights as human beings either.

There are also those that we have to deal with out of responsibility. The best thing that we can do here is to not reciprocate the difficulties that person is giving. Treating them with respect is important and we also must learn to listen to them as they air out their points of view. Doing this will help us better understand them. Plus, if we get to know them, we’ll be able to strategize more with what to do and how to respond.

Fact is, difficult people are usually those who have issues in their life. Disassociate the problem from the person and learn to see things objectively. After all, if this person is not overstepping the boundaries, they may also eventually see that we too deserve respect.

We also have to stop seeing ourselves as victims of a situation.  Blaming others for making us feel miserable can only further damage us. It gives others a chance to access our emotions. Take responsibility for how we feel, and work towards a solution before they attain a mental victory over us.

We just can’t change other people. We can, however, influence ourselves to stop becoming affected. Nobody is worth this much energy and we don’t need to sweat over those who don’t deserve our respect. Deal with them like we should with work, and that is never to take it home with us.

So, in dealing with people who bring us down, we have to accept that we cannot change others, but can only change ourselves. This may mean that we change perception the way we deal with the situation.  It’s always better to look into ourselves first and see if it’s us that need to make changes. We, as individuals, also have our own pet peeves and issues.

If that other person really needs to change and is willing to make the adjustment, then we need to use constructive influence. There are tactful ways to send a message through without making someone feel worse. There are those who will influence our life very adversely. But we can be a positive influence in someone else’s life by letting go of what we cannot control and doing our best to be helpful instead.

Mahatma Gandhi said that we must be the change we want to see in the world.

Let us serve as inspiration to many, and be the positive influence.

When we do this, we will see ourselves surrounded by only those we like and respect.

Best of Success!

Stephan

The Power of Self-Confidence…

Someone once said that it’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. Self-trust is what gets you to push your limits and take risks. Of the many secrets to success, self trust and self confidence are foremost. When travelling life’s rough roads, your strength is sometimes put to test. You stumble along the way, get lost, and realize just how many mistakes you’ve made. Each experience serves to enhance your knowledge in life. With new lessons learned, you’re given another set of tools to use for battle.

What will make you a winner is your ability to channel all your energy to fulfilling your goals. Recognize that there are things that you simply cannot control. The outside factors that affect your decisions change, and while you try not to wilt away, you must also face up to your challenges and responsibilities. Blaming others for the repercussions of the decisions that you made is the loser’s way out. Loser. What a horrible term to use, and even worse is when this insult is directed to you. The most important factor to consider is how you’ll react to these changes. In life, there are just some things that are out of our hands. You must have a Plan B for every important decision that you make, or else, a slight change can send your entire structure falling down.

When you do fall down, what will set you apart from all the ordinary people is your ability to get up. The harder you’ll fall, the more you’ll strive. Winners just don’t quit. Even with their sore behinds, they simply get up and take these battle scars along with them as reminders of their courage and tenacity. Success only comes with some sacrifice on your end. Whoever said that becoming successful is easy must have been dreaming because if it were, then we all would have been wildly successful by now. Winners put in more hours than anybody else. If blood, sweat, and tears have to be offered, then you should do it without batting an eyelash. And if you feel that there are just too many forces working against you, you just don’t let these things dishearten you. A broken heart is a shortcut to failure.

Another secret to success is to believe in your talent and abilities no matter what everybody else says. No one knows you better, and no one understands you more. It’s all in you, the knowledge and the capacity to surpass the things that hinder you from becoming who you can be. You can’t please everybody all of the time, and some of these people may discourage you as you move forward. You must filter out these negative voices and focus on making those who give you support happier.

When you keep these three secrets to success in mind, you can’t help but become the confident person that you should be. You need to know that you can do it. It may not be in the way that you wanted, but the point here is that you can. What sets winners apart from the rest is their ability to dream big and to know that their dreams can happen.

Best of Success!

Stephan