Self-Help Stuff That Works
Self-Help Stuff That Works
This is a no-nonsense, practical self-help handbook written in a friendly, entertaining, and concise style. The chapters are short and devoid of bull, frills, and hype. All you’ll find are ideas that work written in such a way that it is enjoyable and interesting to read and leaves you with solid tools you can use to better your life. You will learn how to become more effective with your actions and feel good more often.
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(out of 30 reviews)
List Price: $ 25.00
Price: $ 15.25
Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
A guide to freeing ourselves from the inappropriate and crippling behaviors that sabotage our success.
Rating: (out of 16 reviews)
List Price: $ 14.99
Price: $ 6.00
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By Anonymous, Friday @ 9:27 pm
Review by for Self-Help Stuff That Works
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I had recently moved to the State of Washington in January of 1998. I joined a local fitness club in Bellevue Washington, where I met Adam Khan. I told him I recently suffered a devastating divorce and loss of career in a single blow. My personal life outlook seemed bleak. Adam told me he had just published SELF-HELP STUFF THAT WORKS and suggested I read it. While I read its contents, I discovered my attitude began to change as I applied his concepts. Each chapter captured my attention and allowed me to see the world, however changing, from a different perspective. Adam conveys simple steps the reader can digest easily and use at ones own pace. Adam even suggests, the reader only apply two concepts at a time so personal growth can develop and mature slowly. While I read the chapters involving work relationships, my co-workers respond differently to me as I changed my attitude toward work and my supervisor. The time spent at work is more positive and up lifting. People have told me they like it when I smile more and I now do it without thinking about it. The research involved in writing this book had to be extensive but easy for any reader to enjoy. The cost of the book doesnt compare to the priceless information on it pages. Adam Khan has helped me be the happy person I was once before, infact Adam Khan has allowed me to be a new person all over.I suggest SELF-HELP STUFF THAT WORKS not for bed stand reading but for your own personal life application!
By Bill Butler, Friday @ 10:16 pm
Review by Bill Butler for Self-Help Stuff That Works
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But wisdom does. Anybody can write a self-help book if they have a double-digit I.Q. and periodic hallucinations. Oh! And a degree from a good dog trainer with a fancy name. And manic- depression also helps. This guy has none of this. And I do believe he is wearing a crew cut? He’s marvelous! Simply marvelous! The cover of the book looks like an Army manual. On the cover, it states “No Bull”, “No Frills”, “No Hype”. And Khan even reduces Time Management to 1 or 2 pages. I thought that this book was just another come-on. But why not give it a try. Right? I was boiling with anger. I tried one of his “instant remedies”. And my anger was completely gone in less than 90 seconds! Autosuggestion? No. I understood. To understand what I mean, buy this book. Khan has gotten rid of all the “peacock garbage”. I don’t think he has really contributed one original idea to the book. But what he has done, and so brillantly, is distilled all the ancient self-help books (99% garbage), extracted the 1% that works, and put it together for you to work with and study with. Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography was one of the first truly helpful self-help books (books that can help people). Either Steve Jobs or Picasso said that “true artists don’t copy art, they steal it”). Khan has done so in such a brillant fashion. 117 techniques for the new millinium. All condensed into “pill form”. Now I can get rid of all my other self-help books with their “neat” diagrams and convulescent but impressive theories. Maybe a “psychobabble yardsale”. This is nothing more than less than a Boy Scout Manual for Sanity. Buy it and put it under your pillow!
By andrew brown, Friday @ 10:49 pm
Review by andrew brown for Self-Help Stuff That Works
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There are so many ’self help’ books available today, all of them offering you the answers to life’s challenges, that you almost need a self help guide just to choose which one is the right one for you!. You could be forgiven for regarding ‘Self Help Stuff that Works’ by Adam Khan as just another book to be added to the list. But wait a second!! This book is different, very different. Adam Khan has successfully made a distillation of all of the best self help theories, wisdom and ideas, and the final concentrate is a book that has the most practical, funny, easy and enjoyable to read advice that you will find today! The author has a natural gift for writing in a style that is very much as if he is talking directly to you. That, coupled with his ability to take ideas, extract the good bits and make sound practical advice out of it that is easier to apply, make it ‘pound for pound’ the best book on the shelf! The book is written in the form of concise chapters. Each cover an idea often in the form of a short story that contains wisdom and practical advice on how to approach problems, handle situations, strengthen relationships, choose your direction in life, develop inner strength – the list is endless. The chapters are divided into 3 sections entitled attitude, work, people and the whole concept of producing a book in this format makes so much sense and allows you to use it as a constant source of reference. No longer do you have to spend time sifting through a book to find that ‘pearl of wisdom’ that really struck a chord when you read it last time. With this book you can quickly refer back to ideas and advice. This also helps you to concentrate on absorbing one or two key ideas over a period of time so that you can really integrate them into your life before moving on to the next idea. As Adam says, ‘too often we try to change too many things at one time’. I can tell you from my own personal experience that there are ideas and suggestions contained in this book that you can apply instantly, without any difficulties that have the power to make considerable and lasting changes in your life. I did it myself by taking one particular idea from this book. After applying it, I have changed not only myself but affected to way people behave towards me in a very positive and empowering way. That is what’s so great and so different about it. The ideas are so practical and easy to apply but yet give real tangible results immediately as soon as you start using them! I cannot rate it highly enough and I would just say, go and buy this book if you want to make positive, practical changes in your life!!
By Anonymous, Friday @ 11:40 pm
Review by for Self-Help Stuff That Works
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It’s about time somebody contributed to this valuable subject without polluting or diluting. Self help gets such a bad rap sometimes, it’s really too bad. I’ve met many people who have no problem admitting they’re not complete, but when presented with the opportunity to find real counsel, balk at the chance to help themselves. Undoubtedly, it’s because a lot of greedy people make a living out of preying on people’s fears and write magic bullet book store flotsam.The information presented here is concise, and quite frankly human. Khan pulls no punches, but doesn’t beat you up either. It’s just the right approach. The best part is that he has obviously done extensive research and names his sources, unlike many Ph.D.’s who DO NOT name their sources and give the impression that they conceived some time honored proven principles all by themselves.Read this stuff and use it, not just because some so-called “self help” author says so, but because the great minds it references applied the principles successfully themselves.
By iamperfect, Saturday @ 12:08 am
Review by iamperfect for Self-Help Stuff That Works
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* * * The Good Things:
This is an excellent self-help book for some people. It depends on what you’re looking for. On the plus side …; this book is “written in a clear, entertaining style, and is full of interesting facts, quotes, and stories.” If you haven’t read many books about self-help this is a great intro book that covers a lot of material. For someone with little experience reading self-improvement books this book deserves 5 stars.* * * The Problem:However, the chapters are short, very short- often only 2 or 3 pages, and the advice is often simplistic. The author rarely goes into any amount of depth on a particular topic. For example, in one 3-page chapter the author makes the point that you should “Become More Optimistic” while another 3-page chapter covers the importance of honesty. Because the chapters are short they lack something important, content. Each 2-3 page chapter has an uplifting story with a moral: smiling is a good thing, and will make you happier. For some readers of self-help this is enough information and for others it is not. Some wonder… How can I make my smiles look more sincere? How can I smile more effectively? Should I show my teeth? How long should I smile and maintain eye contact? None of these questions are answered or dealt with in this book. * * * The Conclusion:
In some instances less is more. If you’re looking for a brief, light, and fun overview of self-help this book is for you. If you’ve read other books in this area you may find that this book is too simplistic to be of much use. …
By STALLEN, Saturday @ 12:33 am
Review by STALLEN for Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
Rating:
This book forces you to see how you think negatively about yourself and how that is deeply affecting our lives. You can call it anxiety, inferiority, insecurity, or low self-esteem, it’s really one big thing in our mind saying “I am not good enough and people won’t accept me unless I am better.” But we misunderstand what “better” means. It’s not getting an “A” in school or getting a promotion at work or being Mr. Right or being smart enough to make fun of others. It’s your own attitude! And if you don’t understand that it turns into a vicious negative cycle that you can’t stop. But it has to stop and the only person that can stop it is you yourself! Thanks to this book, I figured this out and I finally feel like I am on a road to recovery rather than a road to hell on earth. Another book that really explains this so well is called the “Ever-transcending spirit” by Toru Sato. It is one of the best books on life and human nature that I have ever read. If you read it you will know what I mean. But this book by Cudney was what started this. It is sooooo helpful!
By Anonymous, Saturday @ 1:30 am
Review by for Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
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What is your life like? Is it a relentless procession of empty days, an endless cycle of meaningless, frustrating work and unrelaxing sleep? Do you repeat the same pattern of joyless days and empty nights ad nauseam? Do you bounce out of bed eager to face another exciting day filled with opportunities for enjoyment, human contact and personal growth? Has the memory of the irrepressible you faded into dust? Has your life become an arduous and repetitive ordeal? Do you keep hurting yourself, and does this recognition keep haunting you, day and night? Are you acting on misguided choices, doing and saying things that virtually guarantee dissatisfaction and unhapppiness? If you answered “Yes” (or even “Maybe”) to any of those questions, have I got good news for you!
The best book I have seen that specifically addresses how we can reclaim our mental, emotional and spiritual power from the traps we ourselves have built and continue to nourish is “Self-Defeating Behaviors” by Cudney and Hardy. On second reading, it is a truly phenomenal work. I have already purchased and distributed over two dozen copies. It provides a dynamic model of the way we construct, defend and nurture our self-defeating behaviors, while we simultaneously minimize the real pain heaped upon us and the people around us, and abdicate responsibility for the whole thing!
We are each of us presented with a continuous stream of new moments of life, in which we exercise choices. Each of these choices can lead either to a self-defeating behavior or to a behavior that affirms and honors life. At certain times, we “learn” (i.e. we make an invalid association) that we can avoid work/pain/criticism or other fear by choosing a certain escapist behaviors or thoughts. This choice, expressed through various internal and external techniques, results in various prices that we must pay. In order to continue avoiding our fears, we proceed to minimize the prices (by saying, for example, “It’s not all that bad; I can stand the discomfort”), and finally, to disown the choice we made (“It’s not MY fault; it was my parents/teachers/bullies/social conditions/the government/ghosts/the voices/…”).
That cycle, from our choices of developing internal and external techniques to avoid some (mythical) fear(s), and then refusing to pay the price, results in a full-blown self-defeating cycle, which feeds on itself, getting worse and worse, engulfing more and more areas of our lives. Even when new techniques are learned (such as NLP!!) which appear to offer the promise of positive growth, they quickly and effortlessly become swallowed up in the seething vortex of self-defeating behaviors, making it even bigger than ever! This black hole effect can easily escalate from disappointment to depression, food/alcohol/drug abuse, violence, murder and ultimately, suicide. Unless we recognize and terminate this vicious cycle, ALL of our other efforts can lead to naught, mired in our old habits of thought and action.
By John H. Prin, Saturday @ 1:49 am
Review by John H. Prin for Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
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From John Howard Prin, author of STOLEN HOURS: Breaking Free From Secret Addictions, Syren Books 2004
This book made a major difference in my life. We all have many kinds of relationships and roles to play in life, and one of those relationships lasts the longest — from cradle to grave. That’s the relationship I have with myself. In my case, that means John Prin’s relationship with John Prin. I can be my worst enemy or my best friend. What the authors showed me was that it is my choice. I choose how I relate to me, whether I acknowledge it or not.
The main theme? When unhealthy choices are made, we choose self-defeating behaviors that separate us from our core attitudes, beliefs, feelings and values. When healthy choices are made, we choose “life-enhancing behaviors” that fit or strengthen our core being. Over time, depending on the mix of choices, our lives are either headed for breakdowns or breakthroughs. Thanks to the wisdom and clarity in this book, along with the easy-to-understand charts and diagrams, breakthroughs in my life are happening on a scale I never dreamed possible.
The pace is methodical but not plodding. Every sentence and paragraph makes sense as you read it. The authors strive to help readers to define and to behave in ways that serve their own best interests, and to create better selves from the inside out — as I have learned to do and described in my book STOLEN HOURS. For anyone who has dealt with puzzling failures or intense negative emotions, including addictions and crippling moods, the information and encouragement in this book are a godsend.
By Paulo Rios, Saturday @ 2:26 am
Review by Paulo Rios for Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
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This book IS different. I came across it when investigating a completely different thing from the computer field: data mining. And, well, this book is not so far from that. It is just like gold.Most people have problems, of one sort or another. Life is never so easy. Many people try the typical self-help books and believe that they found a way out. Only to discover later that things have not changed a lot, apart from the good feelings that these self-help books gave to them (probably the only major benefit and the reason why many are best-sellers!). Yet the problem endures and these people will suffer from it further. These books will tell you that you should need to overcome your problems and get to the magical solution (repeated over and over again in about every self-help book): check your values, decide what you want, from what you want make a list of achievable and measurable goals, and make an action plan on how to achieve each of these goals. Some books will add a little variation and tell you that you should not forget to set your priorities right in your action plan or that you should examine your values well. And that’s about it. Your problems will be solved and you will be successful like the author(s).”The fear of a certain consequence leads to behavior that virtually assures the consequence. This is the way in which self-defeating behaviors are born and nourished.” “At each moment of life, an individual faces a choice between a road that ends in self-defeat and one that brings him or her closer to a breakthrough. We realize that this statement may seem dramatic, but we stand by it nonetheless.”If you have not noted it by now, the language and style of this book is different from the great majority of self-help books. Precise, clear and concise language describes a behavioral problem affecting millions of people and shows how this problem can be solved. Unfortunately solutions to most problems are too often hard to find. To understand yourself, your family, or your friends in trouble, you would better understand this book first. The theory developed and applied by the authors may be wrong or not completely accurate. But if it is just about right, then you may be just a little more than satisfied:”It is extremely unlikely for the results of a single self-defeating behavior or life-enhancing behavior to be alarming, exhilarating, or even noticeable. But a series of life-enhancing behaviors will, over time, lead to the sort of breakthrough that comes when our minds, bodies, attitudes and actions are integrated into the wholeness that is the source of our creativity, insight, usefulness, and contentment. On the other hand, a series of choices in favor of self-defeating behaviors will, if left unchecked, bring on physical illness, nervous collapse – and, in extreme cases, even death.”
By C (anam7814@aol.com ), Saturday @ 2:56 am
Review by C (anam7814@aol.com ) for Self-Defeating Behaviors: Free Yourself from the Habits, Compulsions, Feelings, and Attitudes That Hold You Back
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if you have ever emotionally fought yourself ( or are doing it now), in your heart you feel wrong but you stubbornly won’t quit, get this book. I know what it’s like to just feel like some puppet being thrown around by the tides of the outside world when you used to be in complete control and sure of yourself. This is the only book I’ve seen on this particular subject, and it’s a great one. It shows you what you’ve done,what you’re doing, and what you can do to stop yourself in your tracks and think about the big picture. This is a book that should be manditory text for psychologists everywhere. I also believe that SDB’s are ultimately stemmed from the INFERIORITY COMPLEX, and after your done with this book should read up on this strangely obscure subject . which to quote Oliver Brachfeld’s highly recommended book ” Inferiority feelings in the individual and the group “, ” It is interesting to note how little study has been made in the past of this complex, which is so fundamental an element in our psychological make-up. “