Personal Development, Prosperity, Abundance, Success & Achievement

How to Find the Right Mentor

2009-08-23T14:23:00.001-04:00

What To Look For In A Mentor

What is Mentoring?

Mentoring is simply the process of getting alongside people to support them in their personal, spiritual or professional development.

Mentoring takes many forms and there are many types of mentors. You can expect a mentor to be somewhere between a 'trusted friend', 'a guide' and a 'counselor'.

Mentoring is a proven process and works well in most environments -- school, professional, personal and spiritual. Most all successful people have had mentors.

Begin a mentoring program with the end in mind

Know

=> Why you want a mentor
=> What you plan to achieve through mentoring
=> How you will measure your success

When you are looking for a mentor, find someone who

=> is further along the road than you are
=> operates from the same set of values
=> you can relate well to
=> is readily available when you are

You need a mentor who

=> is available over the phone for a chat or face to face
=> is enthusiastic about the mentoring process and your development
=> will encourage you and celebrate your achievements
=> keeps you accountable to meet deadlines
=> is well connected and can help you to access other people when necessary
=> helps you to set realistic yet stretching goals with deadlines and
=> develop strategies to help you to achieve your goals
=> gives constructive feedback
=> helps you to overcome obstacles and use failure as feedback
=> is willing to share their resources with you and to help you develop your own.
=> inspires, encourages and motivates you to be and do more

Of course, some mentoring programs are better than others. Do your homework before choosing a mentoring program. Get to know your intended mentor, either personally or through their work. Talk to other people who they have mentored and ask whether they can recommend the program, and why it is worth your time, money and effort. The best proof of the benefits of a mentor program come from what the mentees have to say about it.

A good mentoring program will provide systematic training, shorten the learning process and empower you to grow and develop. That makes it a powerful tool, enabling you to reach your potential and to progress more quickly than you would on your own.

Before you get started with the mentoring process make sure you know what to expect, what is expected of you and how you will work together.

Mentoring is one of the most effective ways for you to grow and develop and become the person you want to be. It would be wise to find a mentor to help you to reach for your dreams and take the next steps.

Best of Success,
Stephan Iscoe

Are These 'Addictions' Keeping You From Your Full Potential?

2008-10-16T13:52:00.004-04:00

Many of us are heavily affected by addictions in our lives; indeed in many cases addictions completely control our lives and destiny. It is all too easy to criticize somebody who has let their addictions get out of control and maybe even ruin their lives, but is any one of us totally blameless when it comes to addictions that harm ourselves? When you start to consider what self-harming addictions people have, the question that readily springs to mind is "Why would people deliberately do something to harm themselves?" Well consider some self-harming addictions:

Smoking This is a particularly difficult addiction to understand as every single packet of cigarettes / pouch of tobacco / packet of cigars carries dire health warnings which should be enough to frighten off anybody from smoking; in actual fact, these warnings are seemingly totally ignored by smokers and indeed are sometimes used as a joke, e.g. "Don't give me the packet that says 'smoking can affect your sexual health', but I'll take the one with the lung cancer warning". It's not as if smoking is easy to start with the problems of smoke in your eyes, coughing, throat problems, and the cost of it. It is understandably very difficult for people to give it up once they have been smoking for many years. Certainly smoking can help to calm your nerves, but is it worth losing your life early or having some major health problems?

Drinking Drinking in moderation is certainly enjoyable and indeed one or two glasses of red wine per day is supposed to be beneficial to a person's health, helping both digestion and relaxation, but binge drinking is surely not pleasurable is it? Being sick is extremely unpleasant and dealing with a vicious hangover isn't much fun. Yet for some reason a heavy drinker is said to be "one of the guys / girls" or considered to be so sociable. Heavy drinking results in bad and often aggressive behaviour and also seriously affect your finances.

Gambling Most people probably enjoy a small risk, a lottery ticket, a night out at a casino, or the odd afternoon wasting $15 at the amusement arcades. This is not at all uncommon. But big cities which are dedicated to massive amounts of gambling prove that there is a desire within some of us to gamble large fortunes or our entire wealth and security for a few hours of gambling. Yes the thrill of a major win would certainly be really good, but let's face it, heavy gambling is nearly always a sucker's game (Fred Smith nonwithstanding).

Hard Drugs Many young people in particular, get into trouble with the law because of their need for a drug of some sort; it appears that drug taking is initially difficult to start and bad effects will be experienced for the first one or two times the drug is tried; even once you've got accustomed to the drug, it is all-to-common for the drug to start to seriously affect your brain and depression can often follow; also the cost of maintaining a drug habit can be very expensive and you can easily lose control of your own life.

Anorexia and Bolemia It is reasonably easy to understand why somebody might become anorexic in light of the way that magazines and the media generally promote being slim as being beautiful and / or sexy and once a person has got over the initial hunger stages, it probably gets easier to keep eating less and less, feeling that they are achieving a great deal with their self-discipline; but after a while the person's health starts to deteriorate rapidly and it can become very serious. Bolemia sounds like a good cheat's way to have your cake and eat it, and then throw up so you don't have the calories to worry about, but the acid from the vomit can rot your teeth and serious health problems can ensue.

There are probably many other self-harming addictions, but these highlight the question at the start of the article. Surely the answer can't be as simple as boredom can it?

Best of Success,
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

How To Get Unstuck

2008-08-17T11:24:00.002-04:00

Using the Right Tools to Get Unstuck

Sometimes we just hit what athletes call The Wall.

It's like staring out the window on a rainy day...

you know the clouds will clear up, but in the meantime everything is dull, gray, blah...

Can't pick up the phone - who's going to listen to vague complaints and uncertainty anyway?

Here's help:

I found another online resource that can help you with the challenge of moving forward in your self help and personal development.

ToolsToLife.com is an entirely free portal for those seeking inspiration and motivation to improve their life.

This interactive site incorporates social networking with mentoring so that community members can support one another with challenges, cheers, and comments.

Look, everybody can use a little help to get unstuck and moving in the right direction.

What really impresses me about Tools to Life online life coaching is that it's setup to

allow open sharing in a positive and supportive environment.

The self-directed coaching programs and support network is confidential, private, and best of all - free!

According to the site, Tools to Life is dedicated to "helping small business owners and entrepreneurs be more successful, overcome personal issues, improve business relationships, resolve depression, overcome self perceived limitations and get better results."

Tools to Life is designed as a universal teaching program and it is rich with video and interactive presentations across a variety of subjects

including Optimal Health, Smoking Cessation, Empowerment, and even Living Green.

In addition to finding sections of the site devoted to Inspirations, Achievements, and Challenges, members are able to

find and join like minded spirits and combine forces with others working on similar goals, lifestyle changes or obstacles.

So far, I've counted one hundred and eightyfive (185) different support groups, ranging from Meditation, Gardening, Music, and Home Business.

Don't see a group for you? You can start your own!

If you think you're alone in your quest for self-development, then get yourself over to Tools to Life...

just browsing through the Sharing section, I found these topics being discussed:

Alcohol, Anxiety, Career Change, Death, Depression, Eating, Education, Environment, Finances,

Focus, Getting in Shape, Goal Setting, Weight Loss, and Law of Attraction.

Best of Success,
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

Are We Living in a Procrasti-Nation?

2008-03-02T20:45:00.003-05:00

Procrastination is something that everyone does, including you. So what is procrastinating, it's putting something off until later due to carelessness or laziness. Procrastination is putting off something till another day what you could just as easily do today. Lots of people put off something that only ends up getting done at the last minute or not at all.

Procrastination is very common for students who need to do research, write papers or even study for a test. This is generally where the term "cram" comes to play, in the case of having to cram for an exam due to not studying before hand.

So Why Procrastinate?

The behavior of procrastination affects almost everyone at one time or another in their life. For some it become a continuous habit, a part of who they are; for others it may only be due to a specific situation and doesn't affect the majority of their day to day events. For whatever the reason, people put things off that they don't want to do.

Some reasons you procrastinate are:

Because you are afraid - no one likes to admit their fear, but fear might be the reason you are putting off doing what you know you should do. Whether it's fear of failure or fear of success, it's still fear. Fear is a paralyzing emotion that has the ability to stop us in our tracks.

You don't think it's important enough - if you don't give a high enough priority on the task at hand then it's not worthy of you beginning it. You may already know that you need to do that task but there is always something else more important on your to do list that keeps bumping that job back to the bottom of the pile.

You don't know enough to do the task - you simply don't know everything you need to know in order to complete the task, so you put it off. This could be because you just haven't done all the research and collected the data that you need to complete that project or you just don't want to put the time in to do it.

Some other reasons you procrastinate are: because you're too busy, you haven't committed yourself to the job, you just don't want to do it or just because your lazy.

How To Change Your Behavior?

Now that you know a little bit more about why you procrastinate, or did you procrastinate and decide to read that section later? How can you expect to stop procrastinating if you don't know why you do it in the first place? Taking a good look at why you put things off is the first step in learning how to change your behavior.

Here are a few strategies to help you stop procrastinating. Not every tip will help every person, so you need to take what works for you and apply it.

Create a list - look at all the clues that tell you just when and how you're procrastinating and you'll be able to see that you are indeed putting something off. By having a list of clues you'll be able to pinpoint your behavior in order to get a handle on it.

Get rid of procrastination myths - "I work best under pressure" Once you believe that you can only work under pressure, you're giving yourself permission to procrastinate. "I can't do this unless it's perfect" perfection is impossible.

Break down the job - if you have a big job to do, you may think you'll never get it done, so why even start? In order to beat this kind of thinking, you must break down the job into smaller, manageable chunks that you can complete.

Change your attitude - by having a negative attitude you may tell yourself that a task will be too difficult, disgusting or simply that you will hate doing it. It's all a matter of mind over matter. If you think you can, you can.

Ask for help - many people think asking for help is a sign of weakness but it's actually a sign of strength knowing that you don't know everything and getting the right help to get the job done.

Some other tips are: keep what needs to be accomplished in plain sight, keep yourself on a schedule, be free from distractions.

Basic human nature will always play a role in procrastination. We all seek out things that make us feel good and attempt to avoid anything that annoys or bothers us. Consciously determining why you procrastinate will go a long way in helping you change your behavior. Don't expect immediate results over night, take small steps in the right direction and you will gradually see better results.

Best of Success,
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

How You can Use Creative Visualization to Achieve Success

2008-02-09T18:04:00.000-05:00

Visualization is a power tool in your arsenal. Practicing visualization is a key to success because it helps you mentally rehearse your goals as if they have already happened. When you do this, you start attracting the people, circumstances and events that you need to make those dreams a reality.

The power of visualization comes from repeatedly seeing yourself in that new car or living in your dream home or making the money you want. When you repeat your visualization over and over again you are reprogramming your brain for success. You'll be hard-wiring yourself to succeed.

Visualization can be done in several different ways. Many people find that just thinking about their goals is enough. They picture themselves earning what they want to earn, going on great vacations and spending time with their family. For others, it's difficult to visualize without some outside help.

Creating a visualization board is a great way to jump-start the visualization process. Take a few days to create your own "motivational poster." Go through magazines and newspapers and cut out pictures of the things that you'd like to have and the life that you'd like to lead. Find images that correspond to your dream life. If you have goals that can't be expressed in pictures (like "having more gratitude") then find words to put on your board.

Once you're done with your visualization board, post it up someplace where you'll see it everyday. Look at it often and picture what it will be like when you have everything on that board. Imagine yourself living the life you've always dreamed of.

You can also practice visualization right before you go to sleep. As you close your eyes, picture yourself in your new home or depositing large checks into your bank account or going on amazing vacations. As you drift off to sleep, your subconscious mind will take those images and absorb them. Your subconscious mind will work on a daily basis to make those visions a reality.

There are some things to keep in mind while visualizing that makes the process more effective. First, try to make the images in your mind as realistic as possible. Instead of envisioning a new house, see yourself walking around in the house and doing normal everyday things. Picture yourself sitting behind the wheel of your new car, and imagine that new car smell.

Secondly, repeat your visualization practice as much as possible. The more you think about your dreams becoming reality, the more you'll program yourself for success. Finally, the thoughts you have while you are visualizing are just as important as the images themselves. Thinking thoughts such as "this is impossible" or "this will never happen" while visualizing will defeat the purpose. While you are visualizing, think to yourself "this is all mine. This is within my reach." These positive thoughts will help you start living the life you deserve to live.

Best of Success,
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

How to Create and Use Your Own GPS - Growth Plan for Success

2008-01-04T18:53:00.000-05:00

GPS usually stands for "Global Positioning System." But it could stand for "Growth Plan for Success." You need a plan to reach any stage of success, and success usually is a result of personal growth. Here are a few things to consider for your plan.

Thinking and acting positively is part of training yourself to feel and believe you are going to be successful. It is your self-fulfilling prophecy! But it will only work if you make it work. You need to create your own GPS, not one someone else has created. Others can give you suggestions, but only you can decide what will work for you and your circumstances.

Success is no accident, you do need to make a plan. First, you need to plan our your long-term goals. Decide where you want to be, and then you need to decide on your strategy and have an action plan for things you want to achieve and target dates for reaching those goals.

Set your short-term goals after you determine your long-term goals. Review them on a regular basis. Each successive goal should be just a little harder than you think you can manage. Always make sure you are aiming higher than you think you can reasonably reach at each stage. Even if you don't quite make that higher goal, most likely you will have accomplished more than if you had set your goal lower. Dream dreams, dream big dreams!

Your GPS needs to be a highly visible part of your life every day. It should be a written plan and be somewhere you can see it every morning. You need to review your goals, and review the steps you will take to achieve them. Every day you should pick at least one thing to achieve that takes you nearer to your long-term goal. Take one step at a time, one turn in a new direction at a time, but never stop moving forward, never lose your momentum. It is much harder to start over than it is to keep following your GPS. If you fail to keep sight of your goals, you will never achieve them.

If possible, create a dream board with the things you want to do or have when you reach your "destination." Be as specific as possible. The things you put on your board should be things you get emotional about when you think about them. Don't put a picture of money up there, put a picture of what you want to buy with that money. Think about why it is you want that "thing" you can buy with that money. Then, make a chart of the steps you need to take to reach your goals so that you can cross each item off as you complete them. This will give you a great sense of accomplishment and a realization that you are in control of your success every day by taking at least one step forward.

One way to help you believe in yourself and in your ability to reach your goals is to see yourself in the future one year, two years, or five years from where you are right now. Imagine yourself doubling your current income. How would that make you feel? What would you do with the extra money? What if you tripled your income? What would you do with all of that money? Chances are you may find it difficult to spend all of that money. But now you don't have to worry about paying bills anymore. The more "real" your vision, the deeper the desire becomes and the closer to your "reality" it will become. The universe will already be in motion to give you what you request if you just keep moving forward with your plan.

Make the best use of your time as possible. If you let fear hold you back, you will put off starting on your "trip", whether it be fear of failure or fear of success. Yes, you could actually be afraid to succeed, afraid of what your friends and family will think of you. Procrastination sets in and you may find yourself looking for any excuse to not get started. Maybe you need just one more cup of coffee or you have to read your email first. This is not the way to get to the "road to success." Get focused and get started. It just needs to be progress, it does not need to be perfect.

It's OK to be fearful, that is natural. Take on a task in stages and work out short periods of time to do at least a part of a task. Think of it as stepping stones on a path that you can only see a short distance in front of you. As you step on the next stone, the path in front of you opens up a little more. You don't have to see all the way to the end of the path, you just need to see the next stepping stone and keep moving along the path. Stay focused and don't allow distractions. Allow yourself peace and quiet. Put a sign on the door if necessary to let family members know you are hard at work on your "GPS."

Learn to work the plan, live with the plan, and see the plan as your roadmap to success. Don't treat it as an enemy--actually it is your best friend. Review your progress and goals frequently. Learn from your mistakes and grow with each step of the process. You will never be the same person in the end that you were in the beginning, whether or not you reach your ultimate "destination." Every successful step you take makes you a different person, with more knowledge and skills. Each unsuccessful step you take also makes you a different person, with a different kind of knowledge that will steer you in a different direction.

Make sure your plan allows time for you to enjoy the journey, to think about where you want to go, and why. Enjoy the personal growth you have made along the way. It is the journey that is the most fun, don't miss it while you look into the future.

Plan your future with a success plan, your own "GPS" that becomes your daily routine. Keep challenging yourself to improve your knowledge and skills to succeed, not just in business, but in life as well. Keep moving forward. You will find that success you are looking for.

Best of Success,
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

Is Your Relationship Keeping You From Achieving Success?

2007-12-30T22:34:00.000-05:00

One of the key components of a relationship is the support that two people provide for each other, yet it is typically one of the most overlooked aspects of choosing the perfect mate. A relationship that is built upon mutual support will overcome just about any obstacles that two individuals encounter along the way.

Support can take on many forms, but in the broadest sense, it is the willingness of two people in a relationship to lift and encourage each other to be the best that they can be. It is also the willingness for each of the individuals to be there for each other through both good and bad times.

Lack of support in a relationship can surface in many ways. It can be something as simple as a failure to be sympathetic when a mate has had a bad day at work, to the major support that is required when embarking on a new business endeavor or during life changing events.

Either way, if support is missing from a relationship in the early stages, chances are it will only get worse through the years. And at some point, it can escalate to the point of no return when much needed support is being sought after and no where to be found.

The reason support is so critical to a healthy relationship lies within the concepts of success and achievement. For two people to build a life together, it is critical for each of them to maintain their own identities while at the same time work together toward common goals and aspirations.

When considering the aspect of maintaining your own identity, it is perfectly normal that two people will not share identical interests in everything they do. One person may be an avid sports fan while the other doesn't know a racquet from a club -- and very well, may never care to learn.

This doesn't mean, however, that the sports challenged mate must forever remain unsupportive of their partner. To the contrary, this is a perfect opportunity to give your partner the freedom to retain their own interests while still being supportive.

If you cringe at the thought of sitting through a sporting event that makes no sense to you, take game day as your opportunity to pursue something that piques your interest. In doing so, you are not only furthering your own separate identities, you are also imposing no feelings of guilt when you each pursue your own interests. In essence, you are supporting each other through extending the freedom to pursue individual passions.

The other area where couples often falter is in matters that involve each working toward a common goal. While maintaining your own identity is critical, it is equally vital to utilize a balanced amount of time and energy in joint endeavors. These might be business matters, financial goals, home improvement projects, and any number of activities that require both individuals working together as a team.

When identifying and implementing plans for an activity that requires the talent and focus of both people, it is critical to identify ultimate goal, create a plan to achieve it, set a timeline for its completion and outline each person's role in the process.

By addressing these things, a clear picture will be formed of the expectations you will place upon each other and you will have given yourselves a means of measuring success. You will also be able to identify any areas of weakness that will enable you to assist each other along the way.

The couple that can effectively master these concepts will likely be the couple that will stand the test of time. No matter what the subject or the endeavor, these same principles will apply and are the key component for the successful outcome of any major joint endeavor.

The amount of support that is present in a relationship, or the lack thereof, will ultimately have a direct correlation to the success of that same relationship. You may recognize this fact in your own relationship or you may see it when you look around at the relationships of others.

Either way, when you become aware of the vital role that support plays in a relationship, it will forever change your approach. And thus, this discovery may ultimately be the turning point in your life that yields the success and achievement you are seeking.

Happy New Year!
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

You Can Learn the Only Secret to Achieving Success

2007-12-19T21:13:00.000-05:00

Life gives us many opportunities to improve, but whether we do or not depends on our effort. Once a week a person should sit down and examine the progress he/she has made towards achieving a set goal. If goals have not been reached then honest examination must be undertaken to discover the reasons why. This must be followed by extra determination that these goals will be met next time.

Do not worry or become stressed if you do not always achieve your goals, remember you're only human. However it is imperative that you dissect why you failed, were they genuine reasons beyond your control or simply excuses? If the answer turns out to be excuses then double your resolve and effort that they will not stand in your way the next time.

Always remember that the harder the goal you set yourself the greater the reward, not just in reaching the goal but in personal development and inner belief, making the next goal you set yourself that little bit easier. Do not be afraid of hard goals as these will bring you more reward than half a dozen smaller triumphs.

Too many people who fail when trying to achieve a goal become defeated and believe they just do not have what it takes. Nothing could be further from the truth. What they do not understand, or have not fully grasped, is that all they need is to instill within themselves a little extra determination, an honesty with themselves why they failed, and then to have another go.

The secret to success is to always try to improve yourself - no matter what life may throw in your path. Sure, there will be obstacles, however, do not view them as insurmountable, be gritty and work around or over them. Everyone really wants to do something, but there are few that will put forward the needed effort to make the necessary sacrifice to secure it. There is only one way to accomplish anything and that is to go ahead and do it. A person may accomplish almost anything if they just set their hearts on doing it and let nothing interfere with progress. The "bigger" the person the smaller the obstacle appears. The "smaller" the man the greater the obstacle appears. Always look at the advantages you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed courage for their conquest. Look back at obstacles you have overcome and realize that the present obstacle will soon be added to the list.

Winston Churchill summed up all the above in two sentences:

"Never give in -- never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

Best of the Season!
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

Are You Ready for Abundance?

2007-12-05T19:49:00.000-05:00

Abundance is for everyone, not just the limited few that life appears to have smiled on.

We are surrounded by abundance. Nature is lavish, even wasteful in its abundance. Anyone caring to look will find an abundance of love, joy, money, and health is readily available to everyone willing to accept them. If there is any lack in our lives it's not because there is not enough, but rather, because we are limiting our intake. What we receive in life is controlled by the limits we place on our emotions, behaviors, thoughts and actions.

There are many factors involved in why it is so hard for us to open the valve controlling the flow of abundance in our lives. By the time we become aware of the fact that we create our own limits, the beliefs and habits we've developed that produce these limits are so ingrained they are very difficult to change.

Society also has its role to play. Since most of the world's governments have become capitalistic societies, it's in their best interest to promote conditions and belief systems that produce large numbers of have-nots. Simple economics tells us that in order for capitalism to thrive, there must be a large supply meeting a large demand and you must have people who are in debt to create a large enough demand to consume that large supply.

The simple reality is that the governments of the world make their money from our poor health, debt, and our struggle to "just get by." Their abundance is dependant on our lack.

But this does not mean we have to accept these limits. While it's true that most people will never take advantage of it, information about attracting wealth and prosperity is freely available to anyone caring to look. And the law of attraction says that the more you look, the more information you will attract. What fills your life is what you focus on.

Learning to create abundance in your life is about much more than simply creating material wealth, it is about enriching your Self as a whole. When you begin to understand the principles and laws that govern Abundance, you begin to understand that you are not constrained by the conditions of the economy or the amount of your present income.

Your ability to increase your wealth, live in abundance, and have financial freedom is all based on your understanding of the universal laws that govern the flow of energy controlling your ability to turn potential into reality.

Yet there is more to creating abundance than simply placing an order and then sitting back to wait for its delivery. You have to be giving something of value, adding to the flow, in order to make this work. When this is the case people are more than willing to pay for your contribution.

Wealth, money, success, love, and health are all forms of energy. Being part of the flow means that you are a participating member. Once you understand how to operate in the flow of that energy, you learn to work with the Source of energy and actively create your reality instead of simply letting random thoughts create a chaotic existence for you.

Abundance is about living a healthy, vibrant life with a purpose and experiencing the joy that comes from possessing a strong sense of Self.

Best of the Season!
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

10 Tips for Combatting Holiday Stress

2007-12-01T17:35:00.000-05:00

Ah... the holidays!
It's a wonderful time for family togetherness, bonding with friends and loved ones and sharing activities done only once a year, such as baking cookies and decorating the yard. Yes?

Actually, the answer for many people is a resounding "no."
Many people feel a great deal of stress during the holiday season.

So Why Are We So Stressed at Holiday Time?

There can be many reasons why we feel stressed at what should be the happiest times of year. Here are a few:

First of all, there's a lot more to do around the holidays. Entertaining, shopping for gifts, attending special functions, and accommodating out of town visitors are just a few of the tasks you may be trying to add into an already busy lifestyle.

Secondly, losses can revive intense feelings during the holidays. People who are separated or divorced may be angry or sad about the changes in--or absence of--family traditions. Someone who has lost a parent or spouse may mourn that death all over again at the holidays. Parents whose children have grown up and moved away may fiercely miss the joyous excitement a child brings to a holiday. When you're feeling this way, having to "put on a happy face" with the rest of the world can be truly tough.

All change is stressful, even if you view it as a "good" change, such as spending more time with family and exchanging gifts. The bottom line is that you're forced to make changes in your regular routine, sometimes for a period of several weeks, and that can be stressful.

These are just a few of the things that can lead to holiday stress. You will certainly think of more. So, can anything be done to prevent the holidays from becoming a time for anxiety, frustration, and "the blues" for you and your loved ones?

The answer to that question is yes, definitely. Let's take a look...

10 Quick Holiday Stress-Busting Tips

Make time for exercise. Exercise is a great stress-buster. Studies have shown that vigorous exercise--even walking or dancing--produces endorphins in your body. Endorphins are proteins that stimulate pleasurable feelings. So, if you're already in the habit of exercising daily, keep it up! If you're not, then try to make time--even if just 15 to 30 minutes a day--to be active.

Get plenty of rest. Stress is hard on your body, as well as your mind. Replenish your energy resources by getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, minimum. You'll be able to face tomorrow easier if you get enough rest tonight.

Learn to take mini-breaks periodically during the day. When the feelings of stress start to mount--or you see them coming--STOP! Stop whatever you're doing (even if just for a minute or two), close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Breathe in to a slow count of 5 and then out to a slow count of 5. Repeat as needed. Open your eyes, and try to smile. When we smile, it often makes us feel lighter, at least for a few moments.

Make time at the end and beginning of each day to review your goals and make a "to-do" list. Try to pull together short lists of the 6 to 10 most important things you need to get accomplished that day. Knowing precisely what needs to be done and then being able to check each task off as accomplished can go a long way towards helping you feel in control. And that can prevent stress too.

Schedule "down time" into each day. This is time just for you. It doesn't have to be a lot of time. Even a half hour of time when you don't have to answer to anyone else can be invaluable. Use this time to do whatever helps you relax most. Some people like to listen to music. Others enjoy reading. Social animals may enjoy chatting with friends or family on the telephone or over the Internet. You might find that writing in your journal or diary helps relieve stress. Whatever works for you, just make sure you do it each day!

Build cushion time into your day. Very few of us have totally predictable schedules every day. During the holidays, this can get even worse... traffic tie ups, unexpected demands at work and home, visitors you didn't anticipate, etc. "Plan" for these unplanned events by not scheduling every minute of your day. This will allow you to be more flexible when these events pop up.

Learn to get comfortable with saying "no." Not one of us can keep functioning if we say "yes" to every request or demand made upon us. If you don't "say no" once in a while, then you're going to find yourself over-committed and over-stressed.

Ask a friend or family member for a hug. This stress buster may sound kind of silly, but the truth is, we all benefit from simple human touch. And hugs have been proven to have beneficial effects. So, don't be afraid to ask for yours!

Learn to accept that a certain amount of stress IS a part of everyday life. No, stress need not be overwhelming on a consistent basis. But, if you want everything in your life to go smoothly all the time, then you're setting unrealistic expectations. And that can only lead to disappointment and let down. So, anticipate some stress and just roll with the punches best you can.

Don't add financial woes to your list of stressors, if you can help it. Holidays are often connected with gifts, but that doesn't mean the gifts have to be expensive purchases. Homemade gifts are often much more highly valued for the caring and effort that goes into them. Or, consider giving away a service, such as a promise of a massage or babysitting. Get creative... you can surely find many ways of giving that don't involve cleaning out your wallet or pocketbook.

Best of the Season!
Stephan Iscoe

Discover how simple it is to create online wealth -- Click Here

Join Success University for Only $2

2007-11-07T17:26:00.000-05:00

You read correctly! For only $2, you can now get started with Success University. What's even better (we think) is that this nominal processing fee will be donated to a non-profit organization providing humanitarian support world-wide.

All of the details are available to you immediately by visiting the
Success University Web Site!

Since it's release, this promotion has created a stir like we've never experienced. Every single day since the launch, records have been set for new enrollments! Not making a move now could prove to be something you regret for years to come.
Learn about this exciting opportunity and literally WATCH it happen!

See you at the top!

Stephan Iscoe

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Would You Speak to Your Friends the Way You Speak to Yourself?

2007-10-22T11:11:00.000-04:00

Very often when we speak to our friends, we shower them with compliments, praise and approval. It makes them feel proud, valued and respected and makes us feel good as well. We recognize the benefit of positive speech, we see the happiness it brings to our friends and we feel good about bringing this joy to others. So if we know all this, why is it so hard to speak this way to ourselves?

For many moms, negative self talk is a way of life. "I'm so dumb/lazy/fat" can be how we define ourselves. We place ourselves in a particular category and limit ourselves from ever expanding beyond it. It's like we're willingly putting ourselves in prison while we hold the key. It's bad enough many moms feel this way about themselves but most share these negative thoughts with their coworkers, friends, spouses and even children.

So let's look at how negative self talk would affect those in each group, starting with coworkers. Maybe you said something you didn't intend to say at a meeting, submitted a report that wasn't your best or handled a situation in a way that wasn't the most effective. You berate yourself, letting others know just how terrible your actions were. What message are your coworkers receiving? Are you a valuable resource and integral part of the team or are you positioning yourself as a weak link? Is your contribution necessary and valued or would your office have been better off without your input? Those answers are determined and defined by how you portray yourself. Of course we all make mistakes, but when we magnify them we're simply making more of the mistake while making less of ourselves.

Now take a look at how you speak about yourself when you're with your friends. We teach others how to treat us. If we speak negatively about ourselves, we're setting the tone for others to do the same. It shows we don't value or respect ourselves so others learn to follow by example. For some moms however, criticizing themselves is their way of fishing for compliments. For example, one mom says how bad of a mom she is in order to receive a reassuring boost that she is in fact a good mom. The problem with this method is that friends may find it tiresome and draining. At some point, when you keep putting yourself down, your friend may simply not want the responsibility of picking you up. That's your job, not hers. She wants to be loyal and supportive, but her time and energy is limited. Does she want to spend it boosting your self esteem or enjoying your company?

Then there's the way we speak about ourselves to our spouses or significant others. For most of us, we want our relationships to bring us joy, satisfaction, enrichment and fulfillment. We want to feel loved, respected, appreciated and adored. So let's look at how we're going about this. What are we "bringing to the table" when we show that we don't love and respect ourselves by calling ourselves names? To make matters worse, why would we choose to point out all of our imperfections? No one's perfect, but by finding a way to love our uniqueness, idiosyncrasies and quirkiness others can love them too. It's "the spin" we put on ourselves; if we think we're something special, that feeling radiates to those around us.

Finally, let's examine how our negative self talk affects our children. Imagine you're getting ready to go out, you're getting dressed and your children are in your room with you. Clothes are flying everywhere as you scramble to find something that's clean, stylish and fits without cutting off your circulation. You're frustrated, angry with yourself for letting yourself go and not taking the time to buy clothes that suit your current size. While this may be a defining moment where you embark on healthier eating and exercise, it's a defining moment for your kids as well.

First of all, you are your children's greatest role model. They study you to learn how to think, feel, behave and react. So think about what you're teaching them. Is this how you want them to think, feel and act? Of course not, so why is that the lesson you're choosing to teach them? If you want them to accept, love and appreciate themselves, then why don't you give yourself that same love and appreciation? You're their mom and that's why they love you. Period. It's who you are, not how you look or what you wear.

Learning how to speak to ourselves more positively may take some practice. For some it means counteracting every negative comment with a positive comment. For others it may mean finding something they like about themselves in order to begin the process of self love. Whatever gets you there doesn't matter. What's important is to begin speaking to ourselves the way we speak to others...for everyone's sake.

Debi Silber, MS, RD, WHC is a Registered Dietitian, Certified Personal Trainer, Whole Health Coach, Lifestyle Expert just for moms and the President of Lifestyle Fitness, Inc. For nearly 20 years, Debi has been working exclusively with moms, insiring and empowering them to become physically fit and emotionally strong through gradual, lifestyle changes. For more information on the Lifestyle Fitness Program, please visit http://www.lifestylefitnessinc.com

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The Two Choices for Success

2007-10-22T10:48:00.000-04:00

It's really very simple. There are two Choices if you want to be successful.

You've probably heard it said before that there are many different strategies for success, that there's not only one path, there are many.

And this is 100% true.

So you must be saying OK Ray, have you lost your mind!

Which is it, many paths or just two!

Well, there are many strategies but only two basic choices when it comes to being succesful.There so simple it's ridiculous.

Either you act or you don't.

It's that simple. Either you're a talker or a doer.

Nothing takes the place of action. Nothing.

When i go to marketing or self improvement seminars I see tons of people taking notes, writing frantically and then never do anything with the amazing information being presented.

I've even been told by some of these people that the' re hoping that they'll act on this info instead of letting the notes collect dust.

Now to be fair, everybody has been in this place in one or more areas in life at any given time.

I've been there.

Many times!

It's a painful place to be, searching for the one thing that will be the "answer" or "secret" that will be the way to success.

Meanwhile, that one thing has been inside of you all along.

It isn't out there somewhere.

So before you try the next big thing that will give you more money or more business try this simple formula :

The next time you read a book, listen to a tape or attend a seminar pick one strategy even if it's a a small one, and apply it right away!

Don't wait and don't try anything else until you achieved a certain benefit from the strategy.

Get really good at it.

In fact, master it.

Just one area.

For instance, if you have a Internet business and it's Internet marketing you want to master pick one technique for getting traffic to your web site.

Say it's article writing and submission.Just keep learning everything you possibly can and start writing and submitting until you get consistent positive results. To the point you don't have to think it about it. It just becomes automatic.

At this point. you're ready to get good at another traffic technique, and before you know it you're mastering several ways to get traffic and you're business is thriving.

Even if you took action for a year and nothing happened you'll learn a heck of a lot. And the next year will be ten times better, and before you know it you'll be reaching your goals instead of talking about them.

And, the best part is, when you develop the habit of action, success become easier.

All because you made the choice to take action, pick an area and master it.

So which type of person are you?

You can change it in any given moment.With a little initiative, focus and persistence, this simple strategy will no doubt improve your results and you'll be more successful in any area of your life.

Copyright (c) 2007 Ray Miller

Ray Miller is a self improvement expert and coach. He teaches and inspires
people in all walks of life, how to achieve ultimate success and fufillment. To get his FREE report, 5 Simple Steps to Ultimate Success, just go to:
http://successtipsdaily.com/

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Personal Goal Setting

2007-07-08T10:32:00.000-04:00

by Kris Koonar

We are all aware how important goal setting is in business and professional life. While many of us do follow this in our work and we usually leave our personal life in a jumbled up mess. But the fact remains that without personal goals, we cannot expect to lead a happy life. Personal goals are important for over all development, and neglecting these can sometimes have a devastating effect. None of us wants to be in a situation where we have been highly successful in our professional life by the way of goal setting, but have been a complete disaster as a husband/wife, father/mother, son/daughter or a brother/sister.

Goal setting is simply defining a purpose, which will direct our actions. But in order to achieve the objectives of your goal, it should have the potency to get you going. This aspect will depend on how precise, attainable, demanding, quantifiable and inspiring your goals are. This can be compared to scoring a goal in a soccer match, which is very well defined.

Personal goal setting should be a method of identifying and defining what you want in life, and the direction that you want to head towards, in this journey called life. This will provide you with a track, which you must roll on, and a sharp focus, which will lead you to success. A well set goal will not only help you focus on what you want to achieve, but will also act as a reference point, so that you do not divert too much from your chosen path. This will help you overcome various distractions that invariably act as stumbling blocks on a path to success.

As a method of setting goals, you should first begin with the bigger goals that will be achieved in a long term. This should then be broken down into various short term, and medium term goals. This is necessary so as to not lose focus. Short-term goals are easier to achieve, and on achieving such goals, a person tends to get a mental boost and the motivation to attain loftier goals. Once you get on this path and start tasting success because of achieving your goals, you will only be motivated further to achieve more serious long term goals.

Another thing that will help you stay on the path is writing down goals. Writing down things make them seem more real, and there are more chances of you going about achieving those things, while verbally, these same things would have just been pushed back to attend to other pressing matters. It is a good idea to post the written goals where you are likely to see them quite often. Some of the options are the bathroom mirror (no better boost than the one seen first thing in the morning), the work station, on your PC, or other such places where you are likely to encounter it more than once a day.

There are many more tips, and even software available these days that can make a goal setting process much easier and attainable. Remember, the only difference between a successful, and an unsuccessful person is the goals in his/her life that are achieved.

Personal Coaching is now afforable if you know the secret. Yes you can have a Personal Coach create a life blueprint for you using our customized http://www.team72.net.

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Key To Success-Right Framework

2007-06-27T20:38:00.000-04:00

by Dominick Tan

That's right, before we start having any ideas of making money, easy money or fast money the lazy way, we need a plan. You will need to sit down, write down what is your objective. Are you in this business for fun, for a living hood or for the challenge? Which ever category you are in, you need a plan in order to be success.

Write down what do you want to see yourself in say 6 months down the road? If you plan to be successful on the internet, making money and be able to quit your 9-5 job, there are good and bad news for you. The good news is that, yes, it is possible; there are guys out there who have made it and no turning back for them. The bad news is that it requires some effort on you part, you would need to stay on course, persevere and stay focus as the people who failed surpassed much more than those who succeeded. I am not promising any instant or overnight riches, but as long as you stick to your plan, you can be successful too.

You would need these ingredients in you plan to success. First, you need to find your target market. What I meant here is not just any market, but a very focus market, one where the people are extremely hungry and they have the ability to pay for what they want. Secondly, you need to identify the product for them. What is that market's need, what exactly are they looking to buy? Usually you will find that any solutions to people's problem are easier products to sell. Thirdly, we need to know how to reach out to these people, how to market to them and make them be aware of your product and make them wanting to buy a piece of the action. Last but not least, just duplicate the above three steps when you are done with one product. You will find that this is the key to automation and you will improve on your ways, research and products offering the next time round.

Of course the 4 steps would take you a long time to learn. Along the way, you might even be distracted. Remember when I mentioned about needing a plan in the beginning? This is where you need to be focused and stay true to your plan. There will always be lots of get rich schemes everyday, forget those. If you stick to your plan, your success will stay with you. Slowly but surely your riches will grow. Go with those proven recommendation and you will find yourself on target.

Dominick sources out great deals to reach out to you. Help yourself to the basic resources and tools to jump start your internet journey which are at http://www.newbiescashmachines.com

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Three Powerful Statements of Positive Affirmations that Can Dramatically Change Your Life

2007-06-17T09:58:00.000-04:00

by Lena Tucker

There are three powerful statements of affirmations that can change your life. They are so powerful that, if used regularly, could change your life for
the better and dramatically increase your self esteem and confidence.

What are these powerful statements that can change your life and your self esteem and confidence?

These are affirmations that apply specifically to you. These are affirmations of changes that you would like to occur in your life. By using these affirmations over and over again, you will change your opinion of yourself for the positive. You will become the person you affirm to be. As you become that person you affirm, your self esteem and confidence will increase dramatically and your life will dramatically improve. You will begin living the life of your dreams.

The first statement of affirmation is, the "I am ......" statement. It is a statement that defines who you are as a person. You can achieve a full list of "I am" statements by taking a personal positive inventory of your attributes, strengths, talents, and competencies. Examples include:

I am smart.
I am beautiful.
I am an incredibly happy person.
I am lucky.
I am full of self confidence.
I am creative.
I am talented.
I am competent.
I am a great person to know.
I am a great friend.

The second one is the statement, the "I can ....." statement. This is a statement of positive affirmations of your abilities to accomplish goals. It is a statement of your belief in your power to grow, to change, and to help yourself. Examples include:

I can lose weight.
I can change.
I can be positive.
I can be happy.
I can be strong.
I can be a winner.
I can laugh and be fun.
I can become whatever I want to become.
I can achieve my goals.

The third one statement is the, "I will....." statement. This is a positive statement of what you want to happen. It is a statement also of what you want to accomplish or become. It can also be goal oriented. It is a success prophecy. Examples include:

I will have a great day today.
I will be more patient and loving to my children today.
I will smile more today.
I will have more than enough time to accomplish everything I need to do today.
I will manage my time better today.
I will make the time to exercise today.
I will take better care of myself today.
I will feel good about myself today.
I will accomplish my goal by a specific time.
I will accomplish anything that I sent my mind to.
I will have a big home.
I will get good grades.
I will be part of the basketball team.
I will be at my goal weight by my reunion.

These are powerful affirmations of statements. They are different for each person and very personal. Use these affirmations everyday, even on those days when you don't feel like it or even if you don't believe it is true. As you affirm, you will change your core belief of yourself. You will become that person that you affirm or dream to become. Your self esteem and confidence will skyrocket. You will be a new and self confident person. The sky is the limit. So start your affirmations today.

Lena Tucker is the founder of http://www.successinlifeandmoney.com An avid blogger, Lena is helping to change the lives of others through her articles and blogs about living a successful life, having true self confidence, successful parenting, and all things money related. Transform your life now through her amazing insights at http://www.SuccessInLifeAndMoney.com

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Repackage Your Self. Being Confident Does Not Mean You Have To Be Offensive

2007-06-09T09:57:00.000-04:00

by Mark Goodworthy

The word confidence has several nuances. When you have faith in a person or something, that is confidence; when you believe in your capabilities, that is self-confidence. But when you believe too much in the capability of persons or things, that is overconfidence.

People always associate confidence with success. People who succeed have displayed self assurance. They can talk in front of a crowd without cringing inwardly or becoming speechless with fright. The can talk to their bosses without stuttering. They believe they can do a project without much supervision. They don’t get scared easily and can react with calm and composure in any upsetting situations.

Being confident does not mean you have to brash and offensive. It simply means you can sail into any situation without having agonizing seizures of insecurities.

Having confidence is separate from having self-esteem; it is about capability of doing something with panache. Self-esteem has something to do with valuing the self.

Have you ever wondered how some people can speak to an audience with ease? They do not only go through the process with such infuriating calm but they can also get people to accept their ideas.

Confidence is not inborn. It is a result of constant practice and effort. There are several ways to have that kind of self-composure. First keep physically and mentally fit. The mind and body jive is vital to develop positive thoughts. Listen to the way you talk to yourself. Do you always say I can’t do it or do you hear your self saying I want to do it?

Repackage your self. Have a new hairstyle or hair color. You may also want to join fitness program. Maybe you need a change of career, make new friends, and even list your good traits. This will rev up your positive feeling about yourself.

Knowing about what you really want helps you get an edge over others. Knowing how to get what you desire is also another weapon in your arsenal.

Observing people can give you some useful tips. There are really so many things you can do to help yourself gain a level of confidence.

But if you feel you can’t do it alone, you can get professional help from licensed hypnotherapists. They will help you re-channel thoughts in your subconscious mind. Perhaps you would like to undergo self-hypnotherapy. This can be done in the privacy of your home.

The concept of building self confidence is also related to losing self doubt. With self confidence hypnosis, you’ll be surprised at the fast results.
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5 Essential Questions to Catapult out of “Stuckville” and Into Massive, Focused Action

2007-05-27T12:02:00.000-04:00

by Stephan Iscoe

If you were already a millionaire, what would you be doing differently?

Got you thinking didn’t I. That’s the power of a question. So really, what would you be doing differently if every day you got up and went about your business as if you were already a millionaire?

Most people who come to me for coaching eventually realize that they have stayed stuck because they ask themselves “disempowering questions.” When you ask yourself a question, you train your brain to answer a certain way. If you keep asking the same question, you will often keep getting the same answer.

Do some of these questions sound familiar to you?

How will I ever get out of debt?

Can I really ever achieve my dream?

Where will I ever find someone who wants what I sell?

How come everyone else is making more money and getting “there” faster than me?

How come I can’t get this all done?

Each of these questions is totally and completely disempowering. And the answers you get when you ask these questions will most likely keep you thinking small.

Want to know a MASSIVE success secret? Start asking yourself new questions and you will immediately catapult forward into powerful solutions.

A few years ago I got really stuck around my finances. I was frustrated and fearful that I might have to claim bankruptcy. I kept asking myself “How will I ever get out of debt?” Luckily, I had a mentor who infused a new way of solving financial problems. She said: “If you were already a millionaire, how would you solve this problem?” Boy, I started thinking about leverage, about different funding sources, about all kinds of options I never thought of before. Within 5 days I had a whole new plan of action with an option that had been in front of my nose the whole time. I just hadn’t asked myself the right question before.

Ready to catapult forward in your own life? Here are some questions to start asking yourself now:

“As an excellent money manager, what do I need to do differently?'

“What is the Return on Investment for (your project/idea/opportunity) that will align me with MY priorities?”

“Who do I need to be to work less and achieve more (freedom, results, etc.)”

“As a millionaire business owner, where would I take my company next?”

“In order to play my biggest game ever, who do I need to surround myself?”

Here is my coaching challenge for you. Write this down right now because this process could change your life in a matter of days. For the next 7 days, every morning wake up and ask yourself one of the above questions. Or create a positive question of your own for the situation you are stuck on. I guarantee that you will start to become aware of new possibilities – maybe that have been right in front of your nose. =-)

Go for it! And be sure to celebrate your new successes!

About the Coach:

Melanie Benson Strick, The Entrepreneur’s Success Coach, teaches entrepreneurs how to stop feeling overwhelmed so they can create more money, more freedom and more prestige.

If you’re ready to stop working in your business and start working on your business, go to www.virtualteambuildingsecrets.com to learn the secret to growing your company to a six and seven-figure success without employees or a 90-hour work week!

Melanie Benson Strick, The Entrepreneur’s Success Coach, teaches entrepreneurs how to stop feeling overwhelmed so they can create more money, more freedom and more prestige.

Co-author of Visionary Women Inspiring the World: 12 Paths to Personal Power and contributing author to Entrepreneurial Spirits , Melanie is co-creator of The Unstoppable Goals Method: How To Turn Your Ideas into Income in 90 Days.

If you are ready to experience a breakthrough in your business, sign up for a 25-minute personalized ‘Business Breakthrough’ at http://www.successconnections.com/breakthrough.html
Article Source: The FREE Article Distribution Center

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7 Great Questions for Discovering Your Passions

2007-05-14T15:32:00.000-04:00

Leading a fulfilling life - a life you love and feel great about - is a matter of knowing how to put the pieces of your life together in a way that empowers you.

Your best life starts with CLARITY.

You create a fulfilling life by creatively capitalizing on your talents, passions and values. Self-knowledge is empowering. Once you have the ability to articulate your gifts you gain the power to actively use them, or leverage them, in your life.

The more you know about yourself the more power you have to create the life you most want. The more you understand, the more you have to work with.

Why is it important to discover your passions? Well, think of it this way. What do you think of when you think of "passion"? Probably something exciting, enticing and fun!

Another way to say it is passion = energy.

Energy that feels good!

Creating your best life takes energy. Your passions will give you the energy to do the work you need to do to create the life you most want.

That's because what we are passionate about is what we care deeply about. It's as if we MUST DO those things we are most passionate about.

If you're struggling in your life or career today it could be you're not involved in work you feel passionate about. In other words, you may not care deeply enough about the work you're doing to give it your all. Or, you may not have enough self-knowledge to bring YOUR BEST to everyday life.

Discovering your passions TURNS ON YOUR POWER. That's because once you discover and understand what you're most passionate about and find the words to articulate your passions, you can begin organizing your life around your passions. This will allow you to leverage THE BEST of who you are to create a life you love. That not only leads to a life that works well, it leads to a life that feels great from the inside out!

The following seven questions will assist you in discovering and articulating your passions. Be as descriptive as you'd like.

1. What do I most often give to others?

2. What do I have the most fun doing?

3. What do others look to me for?

4. What am I most often complimented on?

5. What do I do where I lose all track of time?

6. What do the people closest to me say my passions are?

7. What ideas, things, places and/or people am I most inspired by?

Copyright (c) 2007 Cari Vollmer

Cari Vollmer, founder of LifeOnTrack.com and creator of InspireYourSuccess.com, simplifies personal growth by showing you step-by-step how to create and live a life that works well and feels great! To sign up for her FREE how to articles and no-charge 5-Day Feel Great Now E-Course visit http://www.LifeOnTrack.com
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Fear That If I Am Successful, People Won’t Like Me

2007-04-30T09:49:00.000-04:00

by Helene Rothschild

Have you ever been rejected because of your success in school, sports, relationships, or your career, etc.? These past negative experiences can be blocking you from reaching your desired personal and professional goals.

As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I had the opportunity to counsel many men, women and children. I learned about this unconscious fear of success from my clients. To help them reach their full potential and actualize their goals, I guided them though the HART process (Holistic And Rapid Transformation).

One of my clients, Mary, discovered that she often got sick in elementary school, because she was very bright and the kids rejected her. By missing many classes, Mary's grades dropped and she was more accepted by her peers. Mary was shocked when she realized that she was still following the same pattern in her adult life. She then understood why she was not allowing herself to be healthy, or successful in her career.

We can also have adult fears of being all that we are. One all too common example is demonstrated with Sandy's story. She was a forty-two-year-old single parent who felt she was a failure in her commercial real estate job. Sandy was not making enough money to support her three children.

I said, "Sandy, close your eyes and visualize yourself doing well and earning the amount of money you want. How are you feeling?" Sandy replied, "Scared!" When I asked her what she was afraid of, Sandy replied, "I am afraid if I make a lot of money, no man will want me."

I then asked Sandy if she was willing to believe that she could have the career, the money and the relationship she wanted. She said, "Yes." Since visualization is very powerful, I led her in a process to see herself financially abundant and in a loving relationship

A month later, Sandy called me and said, "Helene, I think you had better sit down. I earned $40,000 this month!"

That is how quickly this process can work. It is not magic, although it proves how powerful we are to create what we want. Sandy was unconsciously pushing away financial success, because she was afraid that men would not like her. When she released that fear, she allowed prosperity into her life.

This fear of success can block your success in your personal and professional life. My sister or brother will not love me if I am successful"My sibling will reject me if I do too well." "My husband will feel threatened if I earn too much money." "People will not play will me if I am too good." "Other employees will resent me if I get a promotion." My best friend will be upset if I am thinner than her." "My friends will be jealous if I am in a relationship."

We often unconsciously hold ourselves back from reaching our true potential and being happy, because we are afraid of being rejected and being alone. One key to happy relationships is to support each other to be all that we are. That is, we often feel resentful and angry when we hold ourselves back. Those negative feelings hurt us and our relationships.

Once we believe that we can be successful and be loved and accepted, we allow ourselves to suceed, and draw to us people who support us. You actually help people to be successful when you are, because then they have a postiive model. Therefore, being successful is a gift to them and you. You deserve to be happy, healthy, and successful. Go for it!

©2007 by Helene Rothschild, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist and speaker. The article is excerpted from her self-help book, "All You Need Is HART!" A unique guide to Holistic And Rapid Transformation. Note her educational materials, events, and newsletter. 1-888-639-6390

Are You Masking Your Success?

2007-04-23T10:19:00.000-04:00

For years I have had the honor of working one-on-one with people ready to break free of the chains and shackles of their past emotional pain and catapult into the future they only imagined. We all have incomplete emotional wounds and baggage we carry around that we mask on a daily basis just to operate. This emotional baggage is heavy, very heavy. As long as you masking your past emotional baggage, you are bound by your past and unable to fully participate in creating the future God created you to live.

Did you know it is possible to live without having any negative emotional “triggers?” Imagine living free of any self-worth issues and being in touch with your greatness at every moment in the day. Imagine living with an open heart and no fear of being hurt because you know how to walk yourself back to wholeness. You don’t have to be guarded. It is possible.

After my years of emotional work, I am so happy to be a living example of what is possible in terms of being fully healed emotionally and living in the present. I know that God can bring me through any emotional challenge, so I don’t have to hold back at all. I invite you to get to this point of freedom with me!

Understanding the purpose of your past and the reason why emotional pain is allowed are keys to being able to live fully in the present. Really hear me on this one – you were born for a specific purpose and to make an impact in the world that no one else can. God has allowed you to go through emotional challenges so you are fully equipped to fulfill your vision.

You have gone through what you have gone through so your life can be a living testimony for those God has created you to impact. Your emotional challenges created the tools and necessary armor to carry out your life’s mission and purpose. Without your life’s experience, you simply would not be ready and strong enough to see it through. Whatever it is you have been through, these were allowed because within your experience lies clues to your life’s purpose and Kingdom assignment.

You carry your emotional baggage around in invisible purses or wallets, carry-on bags, suitcases and trunks. You might even have a storage unit of emotional baggage somewhere. Your “purse” or “wallet” issues represent your self-esteem and self-worth issues. You can easily tuck them away and they don’t really slow you down that much. When your purse or wallet becomes too small to hold your self-worth issues, you need a carry-on bag.

You know you have carry-on issues if you have experienced challenges that have left you more closed and wounded from friendships that went sour. Trust issues with friendships are carried around in an emotional carry-on bag. You can even have more than one carry-on bag and still maneuver through life because they only slow you down a bit. You can usually tuck them away under your seat or in the storage bin above your head and get on with the business of your life. It’s the suitcase issues that really begin to slow you down.

Your “suitcase” represents your past romantic relationship issues. Although your past romantic issues or broken hearts seem to be masked, you unknowingly drag them around in suitcases. You know you have suitcase issues when your heart has been wounded during or after a significant relationship and somewhere along the way you have decided not to fully open up or be as vulnerable with the next person. When your suitcase issues become too difficult to mask, you graduate to a trunk.

Your “trunk” issues are your family, parent, daddy, mommy, childhood issues and residual past experiences that keep you stuck. Trunks are awkward, too heavy to carry and the metal that covers the corners and edges leaves drag marks behind. Any abandonment, deep hurts, deaths, or family secrets go become your trunk issues. You can only drag around so many trunks, and then it’s time to rent a storage unit.

Your “storage unit” issues are the most difficult to mask. Storage units are big and they are kept somewhere separate and out-of-site, therefore, you go to great lengths to keep your stuff behind locked doors. Yet, they are costly! You get a bill every month and it takes a toll on you to keep your stuff under lock and key. These are issues of sexual violation, which can leave very deep wounds and confusion for years to come. Even storage unit issues can be healed. (The Steps To Emotional Healing are outlined in my companion article).

For now, it is important for you to identify what baggage you are carrying and what is in the contents of those bags. This is the first and most important step to emotional healing and liberation, so please don’t take this part too lightly. If you want to take off your masks once and for all, it’s time to break open the locks and take a look at what you’ve been carrying around for so many years.

Most of all, remind yourself as often as necessary that you are not a victim, you are a victor! Your pain teaches you how to exercise your free will to choose to love and take another risk because when you do, you move to a new level within yourself. Each time you go for something bigger, you grow stronger and wiser and are better equipped and prepared to be a vessel for God’s purpose. Drop your bags, take off your masks, and open up to the blessings God has for you.

Ericka D. Jackson provides individuals, organizations, and churches with the tools to achieve God’s vision for their lives. Visit http://www.erickajackson.com for insights, techniques and resources to fulfill your calling.

Buddhism And Depression

2007-03-14T17:20:00.000-04:00

The Ties That Bind: Buddhism And Depression by Joanne Miller

Buddhism and depression have long been two words closely connected. This is due to the overwhelming healing and understanding it is believe to be achieved in various states of meditation. In a state of complete wholeness and understanding, Buddhism and depression are converted to positive energies and released back into the atmosphere. This is one of the main reasons that there isn’t a high incidence of depression among Buddhists.

When we examine the very definition of depression it is actually a state of feeling inferior to your environment and minimal control. This stage can influence an individual to seek out flaws and strongly dislike them. In this state of mind individuals begin to punish themselves in order to feel as though they have some control.

Buddhism and depression is not a popular issue because through mediation, Buddhists are able to reach a higher state of being and are able to release those negative feelings and energies.

We are conditioned to believe that seeking knowledge from within is self-serving and a selfish act. Buddhism and depression is avoided because they are of the belief to seek inward to find all answers in personal lives as well as all aspects of life. The truth of our lives is not that we are predominantly bad and should be forever punished for it.
Buddhists are taught to climb a mountain towards perfects and reach enlightenment through meditation and inner guidance.
Buddhists and all other denominations understand and have experienced pain of depression at one point in their lives. The pain of feeling that others are superior to you and that you are not good enough. It is so powerful it nearly throws the individual into a trance so we never have to confront the depression. Buddhism and depression are opposites by their very nature in that they understand and imagine a life without anxiety or about the imperfections of our human selves.

The character of Buddha is to understand that nature is perfect, and that humans are not, and that is just being and is acceptable. Buddhism and depression are also avoided, as Buddhists believe that drugs alter the system in a numbing way and this can often induce feelings of inadequacy, guilt and a variety of other negative feelings.

They sustain from alcohol, which is a depressant, as well as foods that are rich in sugars and saturated fats as this is believed to bring on negative emotions and feelings as well. These are all contributing factors to which there is such a low number of Buddhists that suffer from depression.

Learn more about physical symtoms of anxiety and depression by visiting our free site. You'll can learn everything about depression: http://www.depressioncritic.com

Do You Deserve What You Want?

2006-12-26T21:06:00.000-05:00

If you've been affirming, visualizing and using manifesting techniques for years now and managed to manifest some of the things you've wanted, but still find that there are a few goals that you just can't seem to manifest, why does it seem to work some of the time but not all of the time? Maybe you don't deserve it!
I mean, truthfully, do you deserve what you want? Do you really deserve the dreams and goals that you've set your sights on?
Before you return with a scathing answer and get annoyed at my absurd presumptuous question, let me ask you another one. Did it annoy you at all to be asked, "Do you deserve happiness?" If it did, then I am sad to inform you that you have the non-deserving disease.
The non-deserving disease will slowly erode your belief in your ability to manifest. It will perpetuate the idea that you are the only one in the universe that can't manifest what you want. It will poison your mind against your own unlimited potential. It will cause you to run in circles looking for the next latest and greatest self-growth technique, keep your therapist's pockets nicely lined, and cause you to ignore your own successes.
Proper diagnosis of this disease is tricky because most of the time, although it may be quite obvious to others, we can't see the symptoms. Or, more accurately, we CHOOSE not to see the symptoms.
For example, if I said to you, "You have the ugliest curly hair I've ever seen!" If you have curly hair - this might offend you. If, however, you don't have curly hair then you'd dismiss my words as non-sense.
For curly hair owners, this may have triggered the thoughts you had as a child about NOT wanting curly hair, or reminded you of the embarrassment you felt when you were teased about your curls. Maybe you still have insecure thoughts as you wake up in the morning and look like my daughter, Ashlyn - who arises as the "wild-bed-head-girl" until we saturate her curls with the detangle spray! (I tell her she's beautiful, by the way, and I love her wild-bed-head look!)
If you love your curls, you've never, ever wished for something different, or you have straight hair then my words do not trigger the non-deserving disease. However, if you find yourself reacting defensively to my words then somewhere in the subconscious folds of your being, you have the non-deserving disease.
Now, for those of you who feel left out, "You have the ugliest straight hair, I've ever seen!" Did I miss anyone? Oh, how about, "You have the ugliest bald head I've ever laid eyes on!"
We all have the disease on some level, don't we? The issue becomes what we do with it that matters now. If you aren't getting what you want in life, and you've been trying to manifest it then more than likely your self-esteem needs a boost in order to cure yourself of the non-deserving disease.
I met Jack Canfield, self-esteem expert and famed author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, during the time when his first soup book was hitting the best sellers list. He inspired me to understand my feelings of deservingness as a self-esteem issue, and taught me a tool that I still use today.
He teaches the formula, "E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome): It is not external events, but one's responses (the R - which 9s changeable) that determine one's level of success or failure, health or illness, fulfillment or frustration."
For example, if you have wanted to attract a mate, and have used my 21-day program, or have been visualizing for months and months and haven't attracted your partner yet, then ask yourself, "Do I deserve a mate? Do I deserve to be in a loving relationship with my Divine Life Partner?"
If you feel defensive about this question, then you know you need to dig deeper, and the more defensive you feel, the bigger the issue.
What judgments do you make about yourself that suggest you don't deserve? Have you ever said, "Maybe, I'm not thin enough; maybe, I'm not fat enough; maybe, I'm not rich enough; maybe, I'm too picky; maybe, I'm not stable enough"?
What judgments do I make about myself that might be leading my sub-conscious mind to believe that I'm not worthy of what I want, or I do not deserve.
It's not enough to just ignore the feelings of unworthiness. You must counter these beliefs with genuine high self-esteem and confidence. The more you believe in your own worth and that you truly deserve to have all that you desire, the easier it will be to intentionally manifest what you want in life.
Try these five steps to increase your self-esteem and treat the non-deserving disease.
1. Monitor your defensiveness.
If you feel defensive (about anything) then you are in that moment taking something personal. Taking something personal is a symptom of the non-deserving disease.
2. Make a decision to NOT take it personal.
The fourth agreement in Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements is "Don't Take Anything Personally." This is a choice. Remember, it's not the event that creates the outcome, but your response to that event. If you don't take it personally, you are free to feel good about yourself as the fabulous human being that you really are.
3. Accept Your Humanness.
When you do take it personal, acknowledge the feelings of non-deservingness, the core limiting beliefs that you resist that continue to say, "I'm not worthy!" Then, let them be there. Acknowledge the fact that you are human and therefore, you will always be both worthy and unworthy and there's nothing you can do about this. Then, hand your humanness over to Spirit. "God, you handle this issue!"
4. Increase Your Emotional Bank Account
Make deposits into your own emotional deservingness account. Tell yourself you are worthwhile, lovable, and beautiful and accept yourself exactly as you are. Do not wait for outside circumstances, or people to validate your worthiness. Make your own deposits and love yourself.
5. Meditate on the Divine Perfection of Life
One of the greatest symptoms of non-deservingness is making assumptions that what you've just received is NOT right. For example, if you want to attract a mate, and you meet someone who on the surface looks great but then turns out to be a dud. When you suffer from the non-deserving disease, you judge this event as wrong, out of order, not what you were wanting. This only perpetuates and continues to attract the opposite of what you want. However, if you continue to remember that you are always attracting what you want, and somehow this was perfect for your path, and now you are free to attract the next experience that is even more in alignment with your identified desires - then you eradicate the disease and proceed with the knowingness that all is well!
Increasing your self-esteem and ridding your life of the non-deserving disease is an inside job. It's worth the effort because, in the end, what you will receive is the happiness that you truly desire and naturally deserve!

Author: Anisa Aven
Receive Anisa's FREE Conscious Creation 101: a 5-part e-course on the basics of Manifesting by visiting http://www.creatavision.com/creative-manifesting.htm. Read more about manifesting and conscious creation by visiting http://www.creatavision.com/ and http://www.manifestingprosperity.com/.

Zigging and Zagging Your Way to Success

2006-12-11T20:21:00.000-05:00

"Living systems require setbacks to flourish."

Bob Pratcher

Do you ever get frustrated with your progress? Do you tell yourself that every time you take three steps forward, you then take two steps backward? Do you identify the backwards steps as setbacks and failures?

What if backwards steps are not failures at all? Would it make a difference in how you feel about your efforts if you knew that the pattern of "three-steps forward and two steps back" has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the way that all living systems work? What if going backwards is not a sign of failure, but is absolutely essential to progress?

This is the claim of Socionomics theory, which turns all kinds of conventional wisdom on its head. For example, socionomics claim that people are not in a bad mood because the stock market is down. Socionomics claims the stock market is down because people are in a bad mood. In other words, human emotions create the motion in the stock market, not the other way around.

According to this theory, "Living systems require setbacks to flourish." If this statement is true, it is a radical reframing of the "three steps forward and two steps back" pattern. It means that your setbacks are not personal failures. When you move three steps forward and two steps back, you are following the essential pattern of the all living systems.

If you read success literature, you will often see setbacks identified as tests of perseverance. The socionomics insight is deeper than this. Your setbacks are not signs of failure, and they don't occur to test your character. They are simply part of the dominating patterns underlying human systems. Instead of treating setbacks as personal failures on your part, what difference would it make for you to see setbacks as essential to your success? What if the secret to success is regular setbacks, not because setbacks strengthen your character to persevere, but because growth requires periodic pulling back?

Consider how often pulling back is necessary to gather strength. The archer with the bow needs to pull the arrow back to give it power to move forward. Muscles work only when they are contracted. The contraction of the muscle is the pullback that gives you strength. Martial arts teach pulling back as a way to gather energy. Using the energy of the pullback is the source of power.

Did you see videos of the devastating Southeast Asian tsunami? Before the tsunami wave hit, the water pulled back. Children ran out to gather exposed fish. And then the water crashed back in an enormous wave, swallowing up everyone in its path. The pullback of the water increased the strength of the wave itself. And so, what if setbacks are not really setbacks?

Socionomics identifies "three steps forward and two steps back" as the recurring pattern of all living systems. Why would you be exempt from experiencing the same zigzag pattern?

Abundance is also part of a pattern. Abundance does not come in straight lines. The root meaning of the word "abundance" refers to an overflowing wave. Just as waves ebb and flow, abundance comes in waves, with steps forward and steps backwards.

What would happen if you renamed your setbacks as pullbacks, and saw them as part of the universal process of gathering strength to propel you forward? Not because the setbacks build your character, but because the pullbacks consolidate your energy and gather strength? What difference would it make for you to recognize that both success and abundance follow a zigzag path?

Copyright (c) 2006 Debt or Alive, Inc

About The Author:
Kalinda Rose Stevenson, Ph.D., Publisher of “Abundantly Alive Now! Newsletter.” http://www.abundantlyalivenow.com

kalinda@abundantlyalivenow.com

Brian Tracy Live Seminar

2006-11-28T16:32:00.000-05:00

LIVE BrianTracy Teleseminar - Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life - December 13, 2006

The Science of Positive Focus (DVD)
Maximum Achievement (Soft Cover Book)
21 Great Ways to Manage Your Time and Double Your Productivity (1-hour CD)
Complete seminar outline with all key points (sent by email approximately 1-week after the Teleseminar)
Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life (Teleseminar CD)

What is a Teleseminar?

It’s very similar to a teleconference, but in a more controlled environment. Brian will speak for one hour and then the lines will open for a Q & A session. Simply dial the phone number (e-mailed automatically upon completion of order), enter your PIN, and you'll be connected to the teleconference. The bonus programs are sent to every participant's mailing address after the Teleseminar.

Please let me know if you have any questions and best of success to you.
Stephan Iscoe
Publisher