Is Your Relationship Keeping You From Achieving Success?

One of the key components of a relationship is the support that two people provide for each other, yet it is typically one of the most overlooked aspects of choosing the perfect mate. A relationship that is built upon mutual support will overcome just about any obstacles that two individuals encounter along the way.

Support can take on many forms, but in the broadest sense, it is the willingness of two people in a relationship to lift and encourage each other to be the best that they can be. It is also the willingness for each of the individuals to be there for each other through both good and bad times.

Lack of support in a relationship can surface in many ways. It can be something as simple as a failure to be sympathetic when a mate has had a bad day at work, to the major support that is required when embarking on a new business endeavor or during life changing events.

Either way, if support is missing from a relationship in the early stages, chances are it will only get worse through the years. And at some point, it can escalate to the point of no return when much needed support is being sought after and no where to be found.

The reason support is so critical to a healthy relationship lies within the concepts of success and achievement. For two people to build a life together, it is critical for each of them to maintain their own identities while at the same time work together toward common goals and aspirations.

When considering the aspect of maintaining your own identity, it is perfectly normal that two people will not share identical interests in everything they do. One person may be an avid sports fan while the other doesn't know a racquet from a club -- and very well, may never care to learn.

This doesn't mean, however, that the sports challenged mate must forever remain unsupportive of their partner. To the contrary, this is a perfect opportunity to give your partner the freedom to retain their own interests while still being supportive.

If you cringe at the thought of sitting through a sporting event that makes no sense to you, take game day as your opportunity to pursue something that piques your interest. In doing so, you are not only furthering your own separate identities, you are also imposing no feelings of guilt when you each pursue your own interests. In essence, you are supporting each other through extending the freedom to pursue individual passions.

The other area where couples often falter is in matters that involve each working toward a common goal. While maintaining your own identity is critical, it is equally vital to utilize a balanced amount of time and energy in joint endeavors. These might be business matters, financial goals, home improvement projects, and any number of activities that require both individuals working together as a team.

When identifying and implementing plans for an activity that requires the talent and focus of both people, it is critical to identify ultimate goal, create a plan to achieve it, set a timeline for its completion and outline each person's role in the process.

By addressing these things, a clear picture will be formed of the expectations you will place upon each other and you will have given yourselves a means of measuring success. You will also be able to identify any areas of weakness that will enable you to assist each other along the way.

The couple that can effectively master these concepts will likely be the couple that will stand the test of time. No matter what the subject or the endeavor, these same principles will apply and are the key component for the successful outcome of any major joint endeavor.

The amount of support that is present in a relationship, or the lack thereof, will ultimately have a direct correlation to the success of that same relationship. You may recognize this fact in your own relationship or you may see it when you look around at the relationships of others.

Either way, when you become aware of the vital role that support plays in a relationship, it will forever change your approach. And thus, this discovery may ultimately be the turning point in your life that yields the success and achievement you are seeking.

Happy New Year!
Stephan Iscoe

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You Can Learn the Only Secret to Achieving Success

Life gives us many opportunities to improve, but whether we do or not depends on our effort. Once a week a person should sit down and examine the progress he/she has made towards achieving a set goal. If goals have not been reached then honest examination must be undertaken to discover the reasons why. This must be followed by extra determination that these goals will be met next time.

Do not worry or become stressed if you do not always achieve your goals, remember you're only human. However it is imperative that you dissect why you failed, were they genuine reasons beyond your control or simply excuses? If the answer turns out to be excuses then double your resolve and effort that they will not stand in your way the next time.

Always remember that the harder the goal you set yourself the greater the reward, not just in reaching the goal but in personal development and inner belief, making the next goal you set yourself that little bit easier. Do not be afraid of hard goals as these will bring you more reward than half a dozen smaller triumphs.

Too many people who fail when trying to achieve a goal become defeated and believe they just do not have what it takes. Nothing could be further from the truth. What they do not understand, or have not fully grasped, is that all they need is to instill within themselves a little extra determination, an honesty with themselves why they failed, and then to have another go.

The secret to success is to always try to improve yourself - no matter what life may throw in your path. Sure, there will be obstacles, however, do not view them as insurmountable, be gritty and work around or over them. Everyone really wants to do something, but there are few that will put forward the needed effort to make the necessary sacrifice to secure it. There is only one way to accomplish anything and that is to go ahead and do it. A person may accomplish almost anything if they just set their hearts on doing it and let nothing interfere with progress. The "bigger" the person the smaller the obstacle appears. The "smaller" the man the greater the obstacle appears. Always look at the advantages you gain by overcoming obstacles, and it will give you the needed courage for their conquest. Look back at obstacles you have overcome and realize that the present obstacle will soon be added to the list.

Winston Churchill summed up all the above in two sentences:

"Never give in -- never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

Best of the Season!
Stephan Iscoe

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Are You Ready for Abundance?

Abundance is for everyone, not just the limited few that life appears to have smiled on.

We are surrounded by abundance. Nature is lavish, even wasteful in its abundance. Anyone caring to look will find an abundance of love, joy, money, and health is readily available to everyone willing to accept them. If there is any lack in our lives it's not because there is not enough, but rather, because we are limiting our intake. What we receive in life is controlled by the limits we place on our emotions, behaviors, thoughts and actions.

There are many factors involved in why it is so hard for us to open the valve controlling the flow of abundance in our lives. By the time we become aware of the fact that we create our own limits, the beliefs and habits we've developed that produce these limits are so ingrained they are very difficult to change.

Society also has its role to play. Since most of the world's governments have become capitalistic societies, it's in their best interest to promote conditions and belief systems that produce large numbers of have-nots. Simple economics tells us that in order for capitalism to thrive, there must be a large supply meeting a large demand and you must have people who are in debt to create a large enough demand to consume that large supply.

The simple reality is that the governments of the world make their money from our poor health, debt, and our struggle to "just get by." Their abundance is dependant on our lack.

But this does not mean we have to accept these limits. While it's true that most people will never take advantage of it, information about attracting wealth and prosperity is freely available to anyone caring to look. And the law of attraction says that the more you look, the more information you will attract. What fills your life is what you focus on.

Learning to create abundance in your life is about much more than simply creating material wealth, it is about enriching your Self as a whole. When you begin to understand the principles and laws that govern Abundance, you begin to understand that you are not constrained by the conditions of the economy or the amount of your present income.

Your ability to increase your wealth, live in abundance, and have financial freedom is all based on your understanding of the universal laws that govern the flow of energy controlling your ability to turn potential into reality.

Yet there is more to creating abundance than simply placing an order and then sitting back to wait for its delivery. You have to be giving something of value, adding to the flow, in order to make this work. When this is the case people are more than willing to pay for your contribution.

Wealth, money, success, love, and health are all forms of energy. Being part of the flow means that you are a participating member. Once you understand how to operate in the flow of that energy, you learn to work with the Source of energy and actively create your reality instead of simply letting random thoughts create a chaotic existence for you.

Abundance is about living a healthy, vibrant life with a purpose and experiencing the joy that comes from possessing a strong sense of Self.

Best of the Season!
Stephan Iscoe

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10 Tips for Combatting Holiday Stress

Ah... the holidays!
It's a wonderful time for family togetherness, bonding with friends and loved ones and sharing activities done only once a year, such as baking cookies and decorating the yard. Yes?

Actually, the answer for many people is a resounding "no."
Many people feel a great deal of stress during the holiday season.

So Why Are We So Stressed at Holiday Time?

There can be many reasons why we feel stressed at what should be the happiest times of year. Here are a few:

First of all, there's a lot more to do around the holidays. Entertaining, shopping for gifts, attending special functions, and accommodating out of town visitors are just a few of the tasks you may be trying to add into an already busy lifestyle.

Secondly, losses can revive intense feelings during the holidays. People who are separated or divorced may be angry or sad about the changes in--or absence of--family traditions. Someone who has lost a parent or spouse may mourn that death all over again at the holidays. Parents whose children have grown up and moved away may fiercely miss the joyous excitement a child brings to a holiday. When you're feeling this way, having to "put on a happy face" with the rest of the world can be truly tough.

All change is stressful, even if you view it as a "good" change, such as spending more time with family and exchanging gifts. The bottom line is that you're forced to make changes in your regular routine, sometimes for a period of several weeks, and that can be stressful.

These are just a few of the things that can lead to holiday stress. You will certainly think of more. So, can anything be done to prevent the holidays from becoming a time for anxiety, frustration, and "the blues" for you and your loved ones?

The answer to that question is yes, definitely. Let's take a look...

10 Quick Holiday Stress-Busting Tips

Make time for exercise. Exercise is a great stress-buster. Studies have shown that vigorous exercise--even walking or dancing--produces endorphins in your body. Endorphins are proteins that stimulate pleasurable feelings. So, if you're already in the habit of exercising daily, keep it up! If you're not, then try to make time--even if just 15 to 30 minutes a day--to be active.

Get plenty of rest. Stress is hard on your body, as well as your mind. Replenish your energy resources by getting 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night, minimum. You'll be able to face tomorrow easier if you get enough rest tonight.

Learn to take mini-breaks periodically during the day. When the feelings of stress start to mount--or you see them coming--STOP! Stop whatever you're doing (even if just for a minute or two), close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths. Breathe in to a slow count of 5 and then out to a slow count of 5. Repeat as needed. Open your eyes, and try to smile. When we smile, it often makes us feel lighter, at least for a few moments.

Make time at the end and beginning of each day to review your goals and make a "to-do" list. Try to pull together short lists of the 6 to 10 most important things you need to get accomplished that day. Knowing precisely what needs to be done and then being able to check each task off as accomplished can go a long way towards helping you feel in control. And that can prevent stress too.

Schedule "down time" into each day. This is time just for you. It doesn't have to be a lot of time. Even a half hour of time when you don't have to answer to anyone else can be invaluable. Use this time to do whatever helps you relax most. Some people like to listen to music. Others enjoy reading. Social animals may enjoy chatting with friends or family on the telephone or over the Internet. You might find that writing in your journal or diary helps relieve stress. Whatever works for you, just make sure you do it each day!

Build cushion time into your day. Very few of us have totally predictable schedules every day. During the holidays, this can get even worse... traffic tie ups, unexpected demands at work and home, visitors you didn't anticipate, etc. "Plan" for these unplanned events by not scheduling every minute of your day. This will allow you to be more flexible when these events pop up.

Learn to get comfortable with saying "no." Not one of us can keep functioning if we say "yes" to every request or demand made upon us. If you don't "say no" once in a while, then you're going to find yourself over-committed and over-stressed.

Ask a friend or family member for a hug. This stress buster may sound kind of silly, but the truth is, we all benefit from simple human touch. And hugs have been proven to have beneficial effects. So, don't be afraid to ask for yours!

Learn to accept that a certain amount of stress IS a part of everyday life. No, stress need not be overwhelming on a consistent basis. But, if you want everything in your life to go smoothly all the time, then you're setting unrealistic expectations. And that can only lead to disappointment and let down. So, anticipate some stress and just roll with the punches best you can.

Don't add financial woes to your list of stressors, if you can help it. Holidays are often connected with gifts, but that doesn't mean the gifts have to be expensive purchases. Homemade gifts are often much more highly valued for the caring and effort that goes into them. Or, consider giving away a service, such as a promise of a massage or babysitting. Get creative... you can surely find many ways of giving that don't involve cleaning out your wallet or pocketbook.

Best of the Season!
Stephan Iscoe

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