Setting Yourself Free in Three Quick Steps

by: Joy Fisher-Sykes

Lilly Tomlin said, "The problem with the rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat." A lot of us are running a rat race - feeling caged into a life of running and giving to everyone else FIRST, sometimes at your own expense. We are pulled in so many different directions - work, family, finances. It is time we put our foot down and stop feeling controlled - by people and circumstance.

Well, it's time to set yourself free. Today, begin to take stock of life and decide what is most important to you. Evaluate the benefits and the losses of certain lifestyle choices. In this quest to lead a fulfilling and quality life, here is my action plan to begin to set us free.

1. Free Yourself From Negative Influences.

Have you ever been in the company of a person so negative you felt completely exhausted afterwards? Relationships with negative people can take a toll on your health, thoughts, and emotions. You will become the people you associate with.

Quick Tip: Don't allow "toxic people" to rule your mindset. Remove yourself from the company of negative people (I also call these individuals "toxic people"). If this isn't possible (for example at a family function), limit the time of your interaction.

2. Stop Putting Your Needs on Hold.

We tend to put the needs of EVERYONE - our employer, family, and friends - ahead of our own. To do this denies us the opportunity to fulfill our personal wishes, goals, and desires.

Quick Tip: Make an appointment with yourself Today. Take the time now to stop and listen to your inner voice that so desperately wants to tell you your heart's desires. Now that you know what you want - take action and make your needs a top priority.

3. Think Outside The Box.

"We can't do that! It won't work. Besides we've done it this way for the last 20 years." How many times have you heard this? We are creatures of habit and like to do things the same old way because it feels good. We love familiarity - it's comforting. Unfortunately, that familiarity, or "the box," can stifle our creative juices and rob us of great new ideas and opportunities.

Quick Tip: Expand your comfort zone and start to think outside the box. Take one thing you have done the same old way just because, and write down three new ways to do it. Take a chance. You might just surprise yourself.

Remember - Focus on your needs and set yourself free!

Copyright © 2004 Joy Fisher-Sykes. All rights reserved
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About The Author

Joy Fisher-Sykes is a professional speaker, author, and success coach in the areas of leadership, motivation, stress management, customer service, and team building. You can e-mail her at mailto:jfsykes@thesykesgrp.com, or call her at (757) 427-7032. Go to her web site, http://www.thesykesgrp.com, and signup for the newsletter, OnPoint, and receive the free ebook, "Secrets, Stories, and Tips for Marvelous Customer Service."

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Free Success Tip of the Day

Surviving Grief at Christmas

by: RobinRenee Bridges

I remember thinking that the impossible had happened. Daddy was supposed to live forever. Oh yes, rationally I knew that wasn’t possible, but my mind just couldn’t imagine a world without daddy in it.

Standing there in the emergency room cubicle, I looked down at the pale, cool body that had been my daddy...a lump of flesh that I had loved so dearly. Just an hour earlier he had asked me if I thought he might be having a heart attack. “I don’t think so,” I responded. “Atrial fib is not a lethal rhythm.”

Little did I know that an aortic aneurysm was slowly leaking Daddy’s lifeblood into his chest cavity.

A technician came into the cubicle to do a 12 lead EKG on Daddy. She told him to lie down as she started unwinding cords. Daddy told her that lying down made his chest hurt. Hospital protocol led the technician to insist that Daddy lie down. So he did. That’s when the aorta ruptured. The rosy pink left Daddy’s cheeks as they turned the color of bread dough. His lips quivered briefly as he said, “I’ll see you in a little while.”

Four months later Christmas music is blasting from the overhead speakers at the mall. Red, green and white decorations fill the store windows. Shoppers push and shove for last minute bargains. Santa wearily pulls another child onto his lap. Colored lights blink on and off on the tree at the center of the mall.

Don’t they know that Daddy is gone? Don’t they know that he’s the one that always cooked the Christmas ham? How can I put up the Christmas tree if Daddy isn’t here to help?

I don’t have to. I can do something different this year. This is how I survived Christmas that first year.

I bought a new, beautiful Christmas angel for the top of the tree. It’s engraved with Daddy’s name. I put one of those long-burning candles on the mantle in his favorite fragrance...vanilla.

I know (not just believe) that Daddy is still with me. His spirit permeates the atmosphere. The living, thinking, loving, remembering part of Daddy can never die and will never leave me. He said, “I’ll see you in a little while.” And he meant it.

I know that I can talk to him and that he can hear me. And if I get still inside, I can hear his responses. Sometimes when I’m not still inside, I can hear his responses.

I know that occasionally I catch a glimpse of Daddy. I can believe that it’s really him because it really is him. Only our doubts and skepticism stand between our loved ones and us. They have simply passed through a thin veil between heaven and earth. They can see us and hear us and touch us. Our physical body is a barrier to our being able to perceive them. There is no separation.

In celebration of Daddy’s life my family performs acts of charity and kindness. We perform them in Daddy’s honor. This is a tradition lost to our modern society. All the prophets of God advocated it. Benevolence brings joy to those beyond the veil and quickens their spiritual growth.

Some of our projects are large; some are small. Each member of the family is consulted from the youngest to the oldest. Sometimes we assist other families with specific needs. Sometimes we volunteer time and energy for community projects like Habitat for Humanity, or a local volunteer fire department’s fundraiser. Or we adopt a section of a highway to clean up.

Whatever it might be, we do it as a memorial for Daddy. All the time we are working we talk to Daddy just as if he were working right there beside us...because in reality, he is.

At the end of the project the family gathers to say prayers of gratitude for the opportunity to help others in Daddy’s memory. We share stories of how the project affected each of us. We particularly share stories of feeling Daddy’s presence. We laugh. We cry. We remember. We love Daddy, each other, and those we have been privileged to help.

Grief turns into joy because we perceive the big picture of an eternal continuum stretching into the future of loved ones assisting one another. We accept the reality of the nearness of our loved ones in heaven. Jesus promised that where He is, Daddy is. Jesus promised that He would be with us always. Therefore, Daddy is with us always.

He’s closer than my heartbeat.

Daddy and I wish you and yours a joyous “Holyday” and a blessed and bountiful New Year.

About The Author

RobinRenee Bridges has been a chaplain and officer in the Sanctuary for thirty years. She is the author of “A Bridge of Love between Heaven and Earth: Self-Induced Contact in the Afterlife.” For more articles about death, dying and the afterlife visit the website: http://www.spirit-sanctuary.org

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Free Success Tip of the Day

Five Basic Steps to Benefit from Your Creativity

Five Basic Steps to Benefit from Your Creativity
by: Nicholas Kabarow

The ability to exercise your creativity is even more important for you than you probably think. Why? First, your creativity tremendously contributes to your self-actualization, which is essential for you to feel satisfied with your life and be happy. Second, it is exceedingly important for being successful in building relationships and earning money.

Taking creative approach contributes to your emotional state the similar way as the spice contributes to the taste of a course stimulating the appetite. If you generate ideas and fulfill them, your life becomes more and more interesting and exciting. This does not mean that you must generate a waste amount of ideas to feel excited and call yourself “creative”; quite the contrary, you should rather be able to generate from time to time really good ideas. If you generate too much ideas and are unable to prioritize, select and fulfill them properly, you will finally feel exhausted and discontented. There are some important factors that should be taken into account to avoid this danger. Please read the five practical guidelines below and ask yourself: ”How often do I follow them in my life?”.

1. Liberate yourself from the overstrain. A stress is not only the bitterest enemy of your creativity, it is also a violent destroyer of your nervous system. There are simple efficient ways to reduce stress or even entirely get rid of it. First, plan your time regularly. You should avoid emergency jobs to the maximum extent under your control. Schedule your jobs for at least 2-3 days and make reminders in order not to forget to do things in a timely fashion. Second, you should store all your important information in a convenient form, always accessible for retrieval. The inability to quickly find a required info cause stress. If you need a phone number, address, date of a meeting, or the latest result of a negotiation, you must be able to quickly find it. You should better make from time to time a few efforts to accurately write down your information, than to make later on incredibly huge efforts to search for the lost information. Remember, there is much more free space for brilliant ideas in a calm mind than in an overstrained one.

2. Seize opportunities. Do simple jobs immediately as they arrive. Do you have to make a note for tomorrow? Write it down right now, or you will inevitably miss the deadline and will have to do an emergency job under time pressure. Is an idea flashing in your mind? Write it down right now, or you will forget it at once and forever being distracted by so many things you have to do. Do not lose the golden opportunity to generate a brilliant idea.

3. Concentrate your attention. Do not think about several things at a time, focus yourself exactly on the work being done. Try to reduce the number of distractions, or their impact on you at least. In order to do so, it is very essential to be able to quickly write down any incoming information securing it to be easily found later. If you can do that in an unobtrusive way, you will not get distracted and you will keep your mind focused in most cases. A good concentration is important for you to feel comfortable at work and it forms the solid background for ideas creation.

4. Spare your resources. Do not make too much efforts to immediately turn a newly arrived idea into a ready to implement solution. When an idea is flashing in your mind, simply write it down. When you have time, read and think about it; then forget it for a while to revert back later. Repeat that process over and over again until you could finally decide whether the idea is good or bad. Do not worry about the fact that you are not deliberating on your idea; at this stage of the idea development this does your subconscious. By forgetting an idea for a while you get a good chance to see it several times with a fresh look and evaluate it objectively. Moreover, and that is extremely important, by doing so you avoid wasting your personal resources on implementation of premature ideas and stop working on fuzzy goals.

5. Use your computer. There is a tremendous information processing power located inside the case of your computer. Make all those Gigabytes and Gigahertz work for you to solve simple yet very important issues: scheduling, quick setup of reminders, taking notes and ideas, archiving them into history and searching them. Take your time to find a software that really fits your needs, it will spare your time and efforts daily in the future. A good software for the everyday use must be convenient for you, smooth to operate, unobtrusive and it must in no way turn itself into another problem when you apply it to solve the original one.

In this article you have been presented five practical guidelines to build a solid background for discovering and efficiently using your creativity. Regardless of how much creative you are, you need to perform appropriate actions in appropriate circumstances to get real results. If you are not doing actions, doing inappropriate actions or doing right actions in wrong circumstances, you will only waste your potential and lose opportunities. The guidelines above ensure that you are acting properly. This article deals both with your personal organization and creativity, because they contribute tremendously to each other. That is why you should exercise them both to get practical results. This is the only solid bridge you can build from your creativity to your success. Good luck to you!

About The Author

Nicholas Kabarow is a senior designer and software architect at CuteReminder Labs (http://www.CuteReminder.com). His innovative ideas were implemented in the personal information management software called Cute Reminder. Nicholas main concept of a software aimed for personal use is the quick and unobtrusive user interface able to spare user efforts in the daily use. Comments can be sent via the contact form at http://www.CuteReminder.com/contacts.php.

9 Fantastic Formulas for a Stress Free Holiday!

by: Julie Hunt

The holidays are officially here. And so the season for giving begins. Warm loving intentions, thoughtful giving and stocking stuffing take over.

It’s a wonderful time of year, but with all the activities, excitement and family obligations taking place at the same time, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed and even a tad bit gloomy. Here are 9 simple steps to relax, let go and really enjoy a truly happy holiday!

1. Reflect on what an inspiration you are to others. The time you spend, the love you give and the enthusiasm with which you do it all with is what matters most to people close to you. The beautifully wrapped presents and bows are far less important than your loving friendship. You are appreciated and cherished in the lives of so many people. Love yourself with the same appreciation.

2. Be honest with yourself and don’t stuff your feelings. As you start to feel range of emotions this holiday… whether it is joy or fear… frustration or liberation…Don’t push them away like last season’s Prada bag. Give them a special place. It will be far easier to enjoy the holiday if you are honest with yourself and experience all the good, bad and normal parts of life. Be as accepting and generous with yourself as you are with the people in your life you care about the most.

3. Show empathy and compassion. Our internal perception is reality. Whenever you show kind hearted compassion, you’ll get it back in return.

4. Be grateful for all the wonderful differences, preferences and opinions that you will encounter this holiday. Try to view life from a different perspective. Talk about differences that may come up in a loving way and make a special effort to sit on the same side of the table (literally and figuratively). See if you can find it in your heart to love and appreciate Uncle Joe’s crazy quirk that normally sends you through the roof. The joy and peacefulness of understanding another’s perspective while still honoring your own is a feeling to be savored!

5. Get plenty of sleep and squeeze in a few extra minutes to rest and relax. Sleep may seem like an indulgence this time of year, but it is absolutely essential to good health and a positive holiday outlook. Rest, slow-down and catch plenty of zzz’s. Be decadent and treat yourself to 3 -5 minutes a day without any books, junk mail or return calls. Take time to breathe, relax, reflect and introspect. If you’re feeling really sassy lie on your back and spread out in the middle of the living floor. Is 3 minutes of your day just for one month too much to ask?

6. Try letting go and see what marvels happen! Let go of one small thing that’s really been getting to you. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Just for kicks, reflect back on a particularly stressful holiday situation last year. How bad was it really? Did worry consume you for nothing? I’m guessing that the turnout wasn’t as bad as all the images swimming in your head. And, there may have even been a hidden blessing after all. In the scheme of things, our daily worries are trivial. Try to let them go… and go with the flow!

7. Find opportunities throughout the day to bond and make a human connection. Make a conscious and loving effort to be attentive and live in the present moment. A sure fire quick way to work yourself up is to let your mind run a million miles an hour of things you could, should or would be doing. These random relentless thoughts will just make you anxious and nervous. Take the time to look into peoples’ eyes; listen carefully to what they have to say and pass them a compliment about something you know is important to them. That goes for strangers too! You will enjoy your time together that much more… and so will they.

8. Change up the scenery. Rather than going through your same daily routine, shake it up a bit! Close your eyes at night before you drift off and sleepily anticipate a self indulgent wild and crazy day. Roll out of bed on the opposite side. Light a scented candle in the bathroom and watch the flame flicker in the morning light. Crank up your favorite piece of inspiring music before you do anything else in the morning. Walk backward through the house. Try tea instead of coffee. Call an old friend you haven’t talked to in ages. Talk to strangers! Take the scenic route home. Wave to the stressed out folks who cut you off on the freeway. What else can you think of that could change up your scenery and shake some smiles out of you?

9. Treat yourself as you would treat others. Write yourself a love note. Buy yourself fresh stems of flowers. Soak your feet. Valet park the car. Have your groceries delivered. Send your undies to the cleaners. Snuggle with a blankie. Take a long walk. Sleep in. Watch the sunset. Sing yourself a love song. Do all the things for yourself you wish others would do for you!

Enjoy the most fabulous holiday season of all times!

About The Author


Julie Hunt is a female icon and founder of SHE, the foremost inspiration and personal development resource for women who want to live brilliant, happy, successful lives. Marketing consultant, sales expert, copywriting guru, improvisational actress, yoga instructor, author and just plain cool chick… she’s an inspiration to hundreds of women.

She is on a mission to scream, skip, advise and acquaint with women around the globe who want live a vivacious life busting at the seams!

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julie@shesite.com

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